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Friday, May 29, 2015

Game of Thrones 5x07: The Gift


Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

“All rulers are butchers...or meat.” So says Daario to Daenerys. That's pretty much the theme of the episode. Characters are making choices to stand up and become the butchers rather than meat. Then again, being decisive and aggressive to get ahead of the cautious and timid is pretty much theme of the entire series.

The Wall
We start at the Wall. Jon Snow is preparing to go north and meet with the Wildlings. I'm not sure if that makes Jon Snow a butcher or meat, yet. Ser Alliser pretty much says Jon is crazy and Jon thanks him for speaking his mind. I doubt either of them are surprised by what the other said. And with that, Jon Snow is off.

Maester Aemon dies because...he was old? Presumably? Anyway, Sam eulogizes him and Ser Alliser gives Sam the ominous warning that he's running out of friends. I was hoping Ser Allison was above that. Regardless, I'm not sure if Maester Aemon could've prevented what happens next anyway.

Later, some Night's Watch randos accost Gilly. Just when I thought we'd watch a second rape in as many episodes Sam shows up to defend her. Sam then gets the crap kicked out of him and then they turn to Gilly once more. Just when I thought we'd watch a second rape in as many episodes Ghost shows up to defend her. The idiots run away.

Gilly takes care of the injured Sam by having sex with him. Not sure what that says about how women are presented on this show, but Sam seems to like it. I would think sex after being beaten within an inch of your life and while you're slightly concussed would be rough but, hey, better that be your first time than not have a first time at all!

Winterfell
Speaking of rape, we're back at Winterfell. Yay! Sansa is, of course, in bad shape. Ramsay is almost literally a butcher of a ruler which, unfortunately, makes Sansa the meat...for lack of a better term.

Theon/Reek comes in to feed Sansa. Sansa actually tries to get through to him and requests he lights a candle at the top of the tower. It goes the way you'd expect.

Ramsay is alerted by Theon/Reek. Ramsay decides to let Sansa out of her room for once and talks about how important she is. He then shows her the flayed body of the woman who gave Sansa the candle. Sansa knows she's in real trouble. She is...until the battle at Winterfell...and after Littlefinger's army takes care of the battle's winner. Then she'll be presumably be wedded to Baelish. I don't know how much better that will be...

On the road
The entire series has been promising that winter is coming but for Stannis, winter is here! His army is in a blizzard and his troops and horses are not doing well. Davos is rightfully concern.

Stannis says they must march on. At first I think he's being stubborn but then he talks about how if they go back to Castle Black they may be stuck there for years. He convinces me he knows what he's doing. But while Stannis is convinced they must march on he isn't convinced he'll win.

Stannis talks with Melisandre and she's sure he'll win. Well, she's sure provided Stannis sacrifices his daughter. Stannis is, of course, against the idea. But one must consider, if Stannis refuses to be a butcher, will he then be meat?

Dorne
Jaime seems to have good accommodations after being captured in Dorne. Myrcella comes to meet with him. Jaime would like to take her to King's Landing but she'll have none of it. She doesn't care about King's Landing nor does she care about her absentee mother and “uncle”. All she cares about is her betrothed, Trystane.

Meanwhile, Bronn and the Sand Snakes are stuck in prison. Bronn is singing and flirting. Tyene Sand flirts back and even flashes Bronn. Of course, this is all happening as the poison in Bronn's system (courtesy of Tyene's dagger) begins to take hold. Tyene decides to give Bronn the antidote because of...reasons? I suppose the implication is she saved him because she thinks he's cute but I really hope that isn't the case.

Meereen
Jorah and Tyrion are being auctioned off like a bunch of meat. Jorah fetches a good price. Tyrion says they're a package deal but no one cares. Tyrion then uses his chain to whip one of the slavers and the man who bought Jorah is impressed enough to buy Tyrion. I'm still unsure why the slaver was so vulnerable to be overtaken by Tyrion's chain attack. Way to suck at your job, slaver!

In the fighting pits a group ahead of Jorah and Tyrion go out to fight and guess who should be in attendance? Daenerys and her future husband Yezzan zo Qaggaz, of course. The fighters slaughter each other in front of her and Daenerys is suitably disgusted.

Jorah catches wind of Daenerys being out there so he suits up and runs to the arena. He starts killing everyone while Tyrion is trying to break free of his chains. Luckily for him, one the guards decides to free him.

So Jorah makes mincemeat out of the rest of the fighters. He then removes his mask and asks Daenerys if she's not entertained? Daenerys is not entertained and wants Jorah removed from her site. But before that can happen Tyrion comes out and presents himself as Jorah's gift to her.

King's Landing
Olenna meets with the High Sparrow in an attempt to free Margaery and Loras. Unfortunately, Olenna is only used to dealing with people who are interested in selfish things like money and power. The High Sparrow is only interested in selfish things like eternal salvation.

So Olenna goes to the opposite end of the spectrum and meets with Petyr Baelish. Olenna and Petyr are both tied to each other due to their conspiracy to murder Jofftrey so neither can afford the other to squeel. So Baelish gives Olenna an “attractive young man” and a gift.

Cersei visits Margaery to “help her” (at least, that's what she told Tommen) but really she's just a butcher gloating over her meat. Margaery will have none of the gloating and just insults Cersei. Cersei seems pleased with herself.

But she's not so pleased when the High Sparrow, after hearing what Lancel has to say, has her thrown in prison as well. Cersei does not take time to evaluate her actions and how she only has herself to blame as this was the obvious outcome for her as soon as she started this Faith Militant gambit. Instead, she just threatens the Faith Militant guards who throw her into a cell.

It looks like the butcher has become the meat.

Other Thoughts
The title of this episode is "The Gift" (presumably referring to Petyr Baelish "giving" Olenna Lancel. In case you're wondering, "The Gift" is also the title of episodes for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dilbert, FlashForward, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Matlock, The Sarah Jane Adventures, Star Trek: Voyager, Stargate Atlantis, The Twilight Zone and The X-Files.

There are also appoximately 4 television series, 8 songs, 12 music albums, 14 books, 9 movies and 1 Portuguese rock band all named The Gift.

Where did Sam get the dragon glass he gave to Jon Snow?

So Maester Aemon died of old age? Did they forshadow his illness at all? Well, aside from him being very old.

How hard must if have been for Sansa to ask Theon, of all people, for help?

How did Ramsay find out who gave Sansa the candle?

Melisandre said "I have seen myself walk along the battlements of Winterfell. I have seen the Flayed Man banner lower to the ground." She never says whose army she is with when this happens.

Why was Tyrion the only one chained in the fighting pits? Who was that guard that showed up? Why did he free Tyrion?

Cersei told Tommen not to blame himself. I agree with that statement. He should blame her.

With his mother and his wife locked up, where does Tommen turn for guidance? The High Sparrow?

Baelish said he'd give Olenna the same thing he gave Cersei, an attractive young man. Does that mean Petyr was behind Olyvar testifying?

The whole High Sparrow plot isn't doing a lot for me. Maybe it's because it's just so rushed or maybe, while I hate what he's doing, the High Sparrow is not really portrayed as true douche bag. Basically, he's certainly not someone I want to cheer but he's not evil enough to boo. I wouldn't take pleasure in seeing him offed. Really, I don't know what I want to happen to him. I just want him to go away.

Speaking of which, why can't the king disarm the Faith Militant? Did their army get that powerful that fast?

Daenerys is very much viewing her marriage as strictly political and is planning on not being terribly faithful. I wonder if this won't bite her in the ass?

Sansa stole a worker's tool whle talking to Ramsay. Perhaps she has some butcher in her yet!

Jaime: I don't understand.
Myrcella: Of course you don't. You don't know me.

Cersei: Look at my face. It's the last thing you'll see before you die.

Season 5 Totals
Boob Count: 22
Full Frontal Count: 3 (3 Female)
Butt Count: 10 (5 Male, 5 Female)
Coitus Count: 5
Main Character Death Count: 3 (Mance Rayder, Janos Slynt, Ser Berristan)
Hodor Count: 0

5 comments:

  1. Oh, FlashForwardM. "Because I was LOADED!"

    Anyways...

    I was hoping Ser Allison was above that.

    I'm still hoping that, while he's clearly not above picking on him, he is still above actively attacking him/raping Gilly, but we'll see. Basically, a guy who's a dick but not a monster is much more interesting than a guy who's just a monster.

    I would think sex after being beaten within an inch of your life and while you're slightly concussed would be rough but, hey, better that be your first time than not have a first time at all!

    At least Sam grimaced when she kissed him. That's the last thing I'd want to do after my face took that pounding.

    Well, she's sure provided Stannis sacrifices his daughter. Stannis is, of course, against the idea.

    For now. And once again, the show is maddening, because I don't want Stannis to sacrifice his daughter, especially after that little speech he gave her a few episodes ago. But I do want him to at least defeat the Boltons. Assuming Melisandre is right, now the show has made it so that no matter what happens, I'll be disappointed.

    Of course, this is all happening as the poison in Bronn's system (courtesy of Tyene's dagger) begins to take hold.

    Before the poison-laced dagger was revealed, I was all "what, she has a poison vagina?" since he started getting worse once she went full frontal.

    The High Sparrow is only interested in selfish things like eternal salvation.

    Though it seemed unclear (to me, at least) if he's only interested in his own salvation, or if he does legitimately care about the average person. I don't like the guy, but there is something refreshing about a character who isn't motivated by the same things as most everyone else on the show, and who has some ideas that are probably the closest thing to democracy a feudal society like this can get.

    Of course, it's hard to get too excited about him since, as you say, he's not douchey enough to hate while he's still enough of a religious zealot that he's willing to imprison and kill liars and gays so you can't exactly like him, either.

    So Maester Aemon died of old age? Did they foreshadow his illness at all? Well, aside from him being very old.

    I think it was just as age thing, though it seemed like he had been more sickly this season. Maybe that's just the benefit of hindsight, though. Him just up and dying did seem a bit abrupt, nevertheless.

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  2. How did Ramsay find out who gave Sansa the candle?

    I was also confused whether, when Theon opened the door and found Ramsey, Theon was at the tower Sansa told him to go to (and that Ramsay, having flayed the old woman, knew to expect someone there) or whether Theon never even tried, and was instead just going to where Ramsay was to immediately squeal on Sansa.

    She never says whose army she is with when this happens.

    That's the thing about prophetic visions: lack of context. Though you wonder if *she* knows more and just isn't telling Stannis, of course.

    Why was Tyrion the only one chained in the fighting pits? Who was that guard that showed up? Why did he free Tyrion?

    Those are all very good questions.

    Cersei told Tommen not to blame himself. I agree with that statement. He should blame her.

    Ha!

    Does that mean Petyr was behind Olyvar testifying?

    I think so - presumably, he told Cersei that Olyvar could corroborate the whole gay thing and help entrap Margaery, though again, that would suggest more scheming on the part of the Sparrow than this episode suggests him capable of doing.

    I'm also not clear on how Littlefinger "gifting" Lancel to Olenna worked. Like, did she go to the Sparrow and say "hey, ask your buddy Lancel about Cersei"? Wouldn't Lancel have already told the Sparrow all about Cersei's stuff? In all his religious fervor, are we to assume Lancel really did keep quiet about what he knew until he was asked directly?

    Which makes me wonder if Lancel knows about Cersei and Jamie? Obviously, Lancel screwing Cersei, his cousin, and being ordered by her to kill Robert is enough to get Cersei locked up by the Sparrow, but if Lancel knows about Jamie and Cersei, the Sparrow could go after Tommen next, which would really throw things into chaos.

    Speaking of which, why can't the king disarm the Faith Militant? Did their army get that powerful that fast?

    I wonder that too. Like, it was one thing when he didn't have his Kingsguard massacre the Faith Militant on the steps of the sept in front of a crowd a few episodes ago, but now that his wife, mom and brother-in-law are all locked up and the city's supply of food in jeopardy, I find it hard to believe he couldn't send troops against the Militant. I get the Lannister army is probably back at Casterly Rock thanks to Cersei being a bitch, but I'd think even just the City Watch could probably take the Faith Militant.

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  3. [i]The title of this episode is "The Gift" (presumably referring to Petyr Baelish "giving" Olenna Lancel.[/i]
    No it refers to Tyrion. He even tells Dany "I am the gift"

    [i]I find it hard to believe he couldn't send troops against the Militant. I get the Lannister army is probably back at Casterly Rock thanks to Cersei being a bitch, but I'd think even just the City Watch could probably take the Faith Militant[/i]
    to br fair, he did tell cersei " I’ll call in the army. I’ll take back the sept and kill every last one of them. I’ll start a war if i have to." and backed down when she implied Margaery would be the first down.
    so’now they have his Mother as well, tonight’s episode will probably feature Tommen actually doing something dramatic.

    The poison stuff is a bit stupid/plot-convenient. So he s been in a cell for à while, poison cycling through his veins many times yet he s feeling so great he sings aloud and just because he gets an erection and some blood rushes off down there, all of a sudden, he s almost dying. Scene was great but it seemed fishy.

    I’m also fearing that the whole point of the "you’re my daughter" speech a while back is to make it even more painful when Stanis eventually choses once again the throne over his family.

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  4. @Teebore: "now the show has made it so that no matter what happens, I'll be disappointed."

    Game of Thrones, everyone!

    "I was also confused whether, when Theon opened the door and found Ramsey, Theon was at the tower Sansa told him to go to (and that Ramsay, having flayed the old woman, knew to expect someone there) or whether Theon never even tried, and was instead just going to where Ramsay was to immediately squeal on Sansa."

    Regardless, I'm not sure how any of those scenarios implicate the old woman.

    Though you wonder if *she* knows more and just isn't telling Stannis, of course."

    Good point, we really don't what Melisandre's true intentions are. I'm confident she's loyal to the God of Light but is Stannis truly the chosen king of the God of Light or just a pawn?

    "Wouldn't Lancel have already told the Sparrow all about Cersei's stuff?"

    That's the one thing I really don't get. Wouldn't Lancel have told the High Sparrow all about Cersei already? That's what suspicious about the High Sparrow. The implication is he was using Cersei until she was no longer useful. That...doesn't seem very pious.

    @Frenchie: "The title of this episode is "The Gift" (presumably referring to Petyr Baelish "giving" Olenna Lancel.[/i]
    No it refers to Tyrion. He even tells Dany "I am the gift""

    You're right of course. But the title of the episode probably refers to multiple things. So we could say we're both right...but you're probably more right.

    "So he s been in a cell for à while, poison cycling through his veins many times yet he s feeling so great he sings aloud and just because he gets an erection and some blood rushes off down there, all of a sudden, he s almost dying. Scene was great but it seemed fishy."

    To be fair, a poison that only kills a man once he gets an erection creates some hilarious scenarios.

    "I’m also fearing that the whole point of the "you’re my daughter" speech a while back is to make it even more painful when Stanis eventually choses once again the throne over his family."

    That's where I see things heading...

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  5. Regardless, I'm not sure how any of those scenarios implicate the old woman.

    Oh, definitely. I was just piling on that the whole scenario didn't seem to make much sense.

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