Game of Thrones 5x10: Mother's Mercy

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

It's no secret that Game of Thrones has a tendency to be cruel to its characters. This episode seemed to double down on this approach. All over characters are having a rough time. It was kind of the theme of this episode. Well, that and ambiguous deaths.

Winterfell
The snow is melting thanks to, according to Melisandre, the sacrifice of Shireen. Shockingly, however, people are uncomfortable following a leader who burns his young daughter at the stake. So Stannis is informed of numerous deserters in his ranks. IF you're going to sacrifice an innocent, young girl, maybe you shouldn't make your army watch.

Soon after, Stannis is alerted to the fact that his wife has committed suicide. (Presumably, due to the guilt over what happened to her daughter.) Then Stannis is notified that Melisandre had go see a guy about thing that's somewhere way far away from where Stannis and his doomed army is. But...the snow has melted. So Stannis has that going for him.

Stannis and his army arrives at Winterfell and prepares his men for a siege. Stannis then gets even more bad news. There won't be siege. Ramsay is bringing the battle straight to Stannis.

Stannis knows he is screwed but there's not much that can be done about that now. The two armies collide and I'm fairly sure I see some of Stannis' men running in the wrong direction. Congratulations Stannis, you murdered your daughter simply to open a path to your destruction.

Game of Thrones 5x09: The Dance of Dragons

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

War is erupting all over the world of Game of Thrones. Some are just recovering from it. Some are trying to avoid it. Some are in the midst of it. But, in the end, it's inevitable.

On the road
Stannis Baratheon is preparing for his war against Winterfell. Of course, what he doesn't realize is war is already coming to him. In the middle of the night many of his tents and one poor horse are engulfed in flames. (And yes, I know that more horses and some soldiers were also casualties off screen.)

In the aftermath Davos goes over the damage with Stannis. Basically, they're screwed. Apparently, Ramsay and his 20 good men were able to sneak in, start fires and sneak out without ever being seen. They were able to do this because...they know the land better? Yeah, I don't get it either. Stannis commands to have the guards on duty executed and I can't blame him. But those guards aren't the only deaths he's thinking of approving.

Stannis first sends Davos to the Wall to ask for more men and supplies. Davos reluctantly agrees but can't convince Stannis to let him bring Stannis' family back to the Wall with him. I think we all know why. I almost think Davos does too, but I'm not sure how he knows. Regardless, he does have a heartbreaking (in retrospect...or at the time if you figured out what was coming) good bye talk with Shireen before leaving.

Later, Stannis visits with Shireen. Stannis' daughter can sense that something is bothering her father and promises that she'll do anything in her power to help him. Sigh. We all know where this is going, right?

Yup, Melisandre burns the little girl at the stake. Shireen shrieks. Soldiers are forced to watch...for some reason. Selyse actually tries to save her daughter. All good will Stannis Baratheon and Melisandre have garnered is immediately gone. All the viewers feel icky.

Game of Thrones 5x08: Hardhome

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

War's shadow has always loomed over the Game of Throne series. We've seen plenty of war already but it certainly isn't over. All over preparations for further wars are being made. We even end up seeing the first battle of, most likely, the most important war that will be fought.

Braavos
Arya is still training for her war against...bad people? She's playing “the game” with Jaqen. Arya is describing her life as an oyster salesperson. Her only flub is describing the street turns down. Even though Jaqen knows all this is a lie so, I don't know, I guess he can just tell what is a good lie and what isn't?

Anyway, Jaqen recommends Arya turns a different direction next time. Arya does and comes across one of the most evil kinds of people in the world, insurance salesmen! Basically, he sells life insurance to sailors. He vows to pay the sailor's family if said sailor doesn't survive a journey.

Arya returns to Jaqen who explains that this insurance salesmen doesn't always pay out to the families when a sailor dies. This just makes him a bad insurance salesmen. Insurance is like a casino, if you are doing things right you don't have to cheat.

Regardless of this man's ability as an insurer, Jaqen thinks he must die. He wants Arya to learn everything about the man and, with that, Arya is off. The other girl at the House of Black and White is worried about Arya. Jaqen isn't and I believe he thinks that, regardless of if Arya succeeds or fails, SOMEONE is going to die and that's enough to keep the Many Faced God happy.

Game of Thrones 5x07: The Gift

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

“All rulers are butchers...or meat.” So says Daario to Daenerys. That's pretty much the theme of the episode. Characters are making choices to stand up and become the butchers rather than meat. Then again, being decisive and aggressive to get ahead of the cautious and timid is pretty much theme of the entire series.

The Wall
We start at the Wall. Jon Snow is preparing to go north and meet with the Wildlings. I'm not sure if that makes Jon Snow a butcher or meat, yet. Ser Alliser pretty much says Jon is crazy and Jon thanks him for speaking his mind. I doubt either of them are surprised by what the other said. And with that, Jon Snow is off.

Maester Aemon dies because...he was old? Presumably? Anyway, Sam eulogizes him and Ser Alliser gives Sam the ominous warning that he's running out of friends. I was hoping Ser Allison was above that. Regardless, I'm not sure if Maester Aemon could've prevented what happens next anyway.

Later, some Night's Watch randos accost Gilly. Just when I thought we'd watch a second rape in as many episodes Sam shows up to defend her. Sam then gets the crap kicked out of him and then they turn to Gilly once more. Just when I thought we'd watch a second rape in as many episodes Ghost shows up to defend her. The idiots run away.

Gilly takes care of the injured Sam by having sex with him. Not sure what that says about how women are presented on this show, but Sam seems to like it. I would think sex after being beaten within an inch of your life and while you're slightly concussed would be rough but, hey, better that be your first time than not have a first time at all!

Game of Thrones 5x06: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

The past. It colors all our movements. Some of us embrace it. Some of us learn from it. Some of us try to forget it entirely. However, none of us are beyond its grasp.

Braavos
Arya is certainly trying to forget her past entirely. It's pretty much a requirement of the Many-Faced God in order to become No One. Arya currently looks to be putting in her work without much of a fuss. Eventually she wants to play the “game” with the other girl in the House of Black and White. This girl says that Arya isn't really ready and then tells Arya the story of her life. Basically, she was a rich kid who had an evil stepmother. I'm not sure her back story is necessary to know because she then asks Arya which parts of her story were a lie, none, some or all? I wasn't sure and neither was Arya. My vote would be all, for what it's worth.

Later, Jaqen decided to play the game with Arya. At least, I think it's the game. Anyway, Jaqen asked Arya questions about her past and lashed her when he caught her in a lie. This game seems a bit rigged to me, though, because Jaqen already knows Arya's history so how can she lie to him about it? Anyway, the interesting part of this scene is Arya declares her hate for the Hound and gets whipped for it. She swears it's true but it's obvious Jaqen believes she's lying to herself.

Next a man shows up with his sickly daughter. The man has tried all medical treatments and is to the point where he just wants her suffering to end. Arya takes her to a pool of water and tells her a tale of her being sick and brought to this temple where the water healed her. She gives the daughter some water and she dies.

Jaqen thinks Arya is still not ready to be become no one but is now ready to become someone else. Ummmm...OK. I guess we'll see where that goes.

Game of Thrones 5x05: Kill the Boy

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

“Kill the boy and let the man live.” Or girl/woman, depending on the characters. This episode was filled with characters having to make some tough decisions and having to grow up. It also had gray scale zombie-people. So there's that too.

Meereen
Daenerys needs to become more than just a woman, she must become a queen. Having dragons has made gaining that title relatively easy for her. But now that she is a queen, she's learning the difficulties of having to be a ruler.

The Sons of the Harpies have risen up and attacked. Grey Worm managed to survive the attack. Ser Barristan has not. Daenerys is understandably pissed.

Game of Thrones 5x04: Sons of the Harpy

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen -> Dorne

War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Well, actually, it's good for building up excitement on Game of Thrones. Pieces are being moved into place and tensions are rising. It's tough to believe this powder keg won't blow soon.

On The Road
Jorah Mormont steals a fishing boat whilst stealing a dwarf. While on the way to Meereen, said dwarf awakens. Tyrion is gagged so he takes a play from Lloyd Christmas and makes the most annoying sound in the world. Jorah can't handle it and ungags Tyrion.

Tyrion gets out of Jorah that he's being taken to Daenerys and Tyrion finds the humor in it. (This also answers for the audience to which queen Tyrion is being taken.) Tyrion's no fool and pretty quickly deduces who Jorah is and why he's being kidnapped. Tyrion gets knocked unconscious for his quick thinking. In this day and age of concussion awareness, Jorah should be cautious of not getting sued!

Game of Thrones 5x03: High Sparrow

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> Moat Cailin -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen

Braavos
In this episode, relationships are the name of the game. Marriages, friendships and even relationships with one's self. The latter type of relationship is what we encounter in Braavos.

Arya is in the House of Black and White which is decidedly gray on the inside. I suppose that makes sense. Anyway, she's mopping the floor. However, she's never seen Karate Kid so doesn't realize that  with someone who speaks in vague, philosophical terms then menial, everyday tasks are a given for training regimens. So, Arya just complains about the mopping. The-artist-formerly-know-as-Jaqen H'ghar says Arya should start servicing others instead of herself. That...came out poorly...

Game of Thrones 5x02: The House of Black and White

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> The Eyrie -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Braavos -> Meereen

Braavos
Everyone's favorite little girl with murderous intentions is entering Braavos between a man's legs. Well, it's actually a giant statue's legs. Either way, I hope Arya doesn't look up!

Thanks to her magic coin, Arya is being ferried to The House of Obvious Symbolism. (OK, it's the titular House of the Black of White.) She knocks the appropriately two-toned door and is greeted by a creepy looking man (and by “greeted” I mean silently glowered at). Arya asks for Jaqen H'ghar but there is apparently nobody there by that name.

After a rainy night of naming off the people she wants to kill Arya decides to ditch the coin and slaughter pigeons. Whatever passes the time, I suppose. So, some random thugs decide they want Arya's tasty pigeon corpse but Arya wants them to taste her sword instead. Before she needles them to death the creepy looking man appears and scares the thugs off with a glower.

To the surprise of no one, the creepy man turns out to be Jaqen although he refuses to call himself by that name. Apparently, to enter The House of Black and White you must have no name. Arya follows the assassin formerly known as Jaqen into the House of the Black and White via the black door.

Game of Thrones 5x01: The Wars to Come

Opening Credits Map
King's Landing -> The Eyrie -> Winterfell -> The Wall -> Pentos -> Meereen

Welcome back readers! Or I suppose if you're here for the first time,,,welcome! I hope you enjoy my reviews of Game of Thrones. I don't have anything awe-inspiring to say so let's just get to it.

King's Landing
We start off Season 5 with a couple of young girls we've never seen before. The bitchy attitude of one of the girls clues us in that she is Cersei. It's a very rare Game of Thrones flashback!

Young Cersei enters a witch's hut and demands that her fortune be told. The witch complies and tells her she will marry the king (not the current Targaryen prince) and the king will have 20 children and she will have 3. Before young Cersei has a chance to make heads or tails of that statement the witch also says that Cersei's children will wear golden shrouds. To which I say if all it takes to be a fortune teller is to say that people will die at some point in time then call me freakin' Nostradamus!

The Walking Dead 5x16: Conquer

Choices. In some ways that's what The Walking Dead has always been about. Who do you choose to trust? Where do you choose to go? How do you choose to try to live your life in the zombie apocalypse? Can you make the tough choices?

The season 5 finale of The Walking Dead, Conquer, was all about choices. Individual characters and the entire town of Alexandria were put to the test. The end result was, frankly, a lot better than I had predicted.

The Walking Dead 5x15: Try

Rick, this is why we can't have nice things. You get brought to this very nice and relatively safe place and you just can't be happy. You can't accept it. And you can't accept any trains of thoughts that aren't your own.

You haven't always been like this. I mean, yeah, you've generally made bad decisions. But at least most of those decision were for the right reasons. You listened to people. Tried to reason with them. You would try to do the ethical thing.

The Walking Dead 5x14: Spend

Well, the walls of Alexandria are beginning to crack. Metaphorically, of course. The literal walls are still OK...for now.

The native Alexandrians are struggling to do…anything really. It's really a wonder they've managed to survive this long. But Rick's crew have come in and they're competent. Sure, they can be dicks, but they're competent dicks.

The Walking Dead 5x13: Forget

The previous week's episode of The Walking Dead was titled “Remember.” The title of this episode is “Forget.” This is what Rick's group has to do. They need to remember who they were before the zombie apocalypse. They need to forget what they've become after the zombie apocalypse.

Life in Alexandria seems pretty sweet (relatively). They have houses, food, beer, running water, electricity, walls and welcoming parties. This is the kind of place you would think Rick's group is looking for. However, Rick's group is having trouble adjusting.

The Walking Dead 5x12: Remember

In last week's post I brought up the quote from Spock in the Star Trek episode "Mirror, Mirror", “It was far easier for you as civilized men to behave like barbarians, than it was for them to behave like civilized men." I think we’re seeing evidence of that in this episode of The Walking Dead. Rick and company have found themselves in a relatively tranquil gated community complete with modern conveniences. It becomes obvious they have no idea what to do with that.

When dissecting this episode I suppose the first thing to decide is whether or not you trust Alexandria and their people. I’m taking them at face value. I think they’re a group of people who found a sanctuary that shielded them from the zombie apocalypse. They're genuine (although some are douche bags) but, having been shielded from the zombie apocalypse, they are a bit soft. In other words, I don't think they're perfect but I don't think they're evil.

The Walking Dead 5x11: The Distance

Trust. Trust is tough to earn and even tougher to give. How do you know who is trustworthy? What can someone do to gain a person's trust? Especially when the people whose trust they're trying to earn have been burned by trusting others so many times before.

In the zombie apocalypse, trust is even harder to give. If you trust the wrong person you could very well end up dead. Sure, Rick's group's incredible distrust of everyone can be annoying a lot of the time but I do sympathize with their dilemma. For the most part, Rick's group just runs into cannibals, kidnappers and megalomaniacs. So when a stranger named Aaron arrives offering to take them to a safe haven, who can blame them for being a bit suspicious?

The Walking Dead 5x10: Them

I think this week's episode of The Walking Dead should've been sponsored by the Mars candy company. Because everyone was hungry, crabby and in need of a Snickers. Of course, in this case it wasn't a caramel, peanuts and nougat candy bar that satiated everyone but dog meat. The Walking Dead everyone!

Actually I have very little to say about this episode. Not a whole lot happened. The group was on the road, struggling to survive and sad because, as we discussed last week, living in the zombie apocalypse sucks. That was pretty much the episode.

Daryl, Maggie and Sasha are all mourning Beth/Tyreese in their own ways. Daryl needed to find a private place to cry. Maggie just took her anger out on a cowardly priest. Sasha alienated everyone with her words and actions. She disregarded strategy in favor of head on combat with a horde of zombies. Rick and company help her out and nearly get killed in the process. Way to go Sasha.

The Walking Dead 5x09: What Happened and What’s Going On

Did you know that living in the zombie apocalypse sucks? And that only the strong will survive? And those who try to be kind will always be taken advantage of and/or killed because of that kindness? Did you know that only ruthless, amoral people can survive the zombie apocalypse? Because if you didn't know these things then get ready to be educated because this episode desperately wants to teach you these lessons.

The Walking Dead 5x08: Coda

Well, when it comes to the *sigh* mid-season finale* and The Walking Dead, you can always count on someone dying and this episode was no different. When a main character dies I always try to figure out why and how it served the plot. Of course, on a nihilistic show like this that may be a fool's errand.

On The Walking Dead people die all the time. Some would say that's the point of the show. It doesn't matter if you're good or bad, smart or stupid. People die. Sometimes it's their fault, sometimes it's not but the world keeps on turning. I think my thoughts about that is well explored territory for me so maybe I should just move on.

The Walking Dead 5x07: Crossed

Is season five the best season of The Walking Dead so far? I've heard speculation saying people think that it is. Frankly, I might be inclined to agree. At the same time, you could argue that (despite the incredible popularity of The Walking Dead) that's damning the show with faint praise.

The reason I bring up the quality of this season is that this episode was pretty good. I wouldn't call it excellent though. The Walking Dead has hit this sweet spot of being good enough to not rag on but not being so excellent that I feel the need to heap praise atop of it.

I suppose another way to put it is: I have no idea what to write about.