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Friday, April 13, 2012

Last Week in TV #28

This week we get to travel back in time to Valentines Day AND St. Patrick's Day as I play a little catch-up. But don't worry, I'm still behind on plenty...

Game of Thrones: The Night Lands


More like Game of Incest and Baby Killing, amiright? This episode taught us all an important lesson: if you're going to stick your hand down a random woman's pants, make damned sure she's not your sister first.

Seriously though, this episode continued the slow build from the premiere, catching us up with a few players missed in last week's episode while introducing a few more. Moving forward with these reviews, I'm going to steal a page from David Sims' book over at the AV Club and discuss things location by location.

Pyke
Let's start with this episodes new locale, the Iron Islands and the capital of Pyke. Last season, Theon never made much of an impression on me, aside from being kinda douchey, and while he still is, this episode did a lot to round out his character and make him more enjoyable to watch (even if I still don't necessarily like him). Watching him struggle between the life he's known, the life he wants, and the reality that falls between both should be interesting. Meanwhile, his father, Balon, did make an immediate impression, conveying in one scene exactly the kind of person he is, what he wants, and how he feels about the Starks, while at the same time, the whole "iron price vs. gold price" was effective at quickly establishing the culture of this new land.

The King's Road
After a brief appearance to close last week's episode, we catch-up with Arya and Gendry. I was a bit surprised that she revealed herself to Gendry so soon, but presumably, that will come into play during the rematch between the Night's Watch recruits and the Goldcloaks (and, obviously, Yoren sending them running in this episode was pretty badass).

King's Landing 
Tyrion continues to rock, and while his line to Vaerys about how he knows the game better than Ned Stark was used in a lot of the promotional material leading up to this season, it was still an effective summation of the kind of Hand he will be, and he backed up his words later by deftly removing Janos. I also appreciated that he was genuinely appalled by the Bastard Slaughter (though I was surprised to learn there was some question over who ordered it; I just automatically assumed Joffrey and never questioned it, and while I was ultimately right, I suppose I should have maybe suspected Cersei).

Beyond the Wall
More straight-up heroics from perhaps the show's most straightforward hero character, as Jon's curiosity gets the better of him and he discovers Craster is feeding his male babies to the White Walkers (presumably), thus fulfilling the episode's baby-killing quotient. On the one hand, I worry that Jon's eventual attempts to either fight Craster or help his disenchanted daughter-wife escape are too predictable; on the other hand, Jon is one of the show's few genuinely heroic do-gooders, so it makes sense that he would do one or the other, despite the risk. Also, Sam continues to rock, in his Neville Longbottom kind of way ("She's a person, not a goat.").

Dragonstone
More political and religious wrangling going on, and while we have yet to spend a lot of time here, every time the show does, it leaves me wanting more (and while Stannis screwing Melisandre atop his giant war map table was pretty on the nose, symbolism-wise, it was also clearly loaded with implication for the future).

Other Thoughts
Again, just one brief check in with Daenerys out in the desert, but I did like the subtle way the show contrasted her with Cersei by showing that for all her fierceness and determination, Daenerys actually cares for her people in a way that seems anathema to Cersei.  

The scene between Baelish and Roz was effective, but seemed kind of out of place in the episode, disconnected from everything else beyond vague thematic notions of power.

Much has been made on the internet about this show's use of "sexposition", and while some of that can be chalked up to HBO wanting to show boobs whenever it can (something I can't exactly object to), the only scene I felt was truly sexpositional was the one inside Baelish's brothel (the Theon scene told us a lot about his character and desires, while the Stannis/Melisandre one was clearly significant to the plot and Stannis' development), and even then, it could be read as subtle commentary on the sexposition itself, as we cut from Theon and the salt wife to a guy watching a guy watching a sex scene. I'm not quite sure what the show was trying to say with that transition, but it seemed like it was trying to say something.

Tyrion: You’ve perfected the art of tearing up papers.

Tyrion: I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.


How I Met Your Mother: Trilogy Time


Maybe it's just because I share a similar relationship with "the trilogy" (albeit a less regimented one), but this was a nice bounce back episode after one I didn't particularly enjoy. While nothing here was particularly groundbreaking, this episode was classic HIMYM in the way the narrative moved through time and spoke to one of the series' overarching questions: how happy am I with where I'm at in life at this moment? That's really the question Ted has struggled to answer (and struggled to change the answer of, when it was "not very") throughout the show's entire run, and "Trilogy Time" effectively contrasted Ted, Marshall and Barney's desires for their futures with the realities of their futures throughout the years, which, not surprisingly, lead to some great laughs along the way (I particularly enjoyed Marshall's relationship with his facial hair, and the ongoing political gags in the newspaper headlines, particularly in Fake 2015: "America regrets giving Bush surprise 3rd term."). I'm still not wild about the Quinn/Barney relationship, but I'm much more comfortable with where the show is heading on its way to the finale.

Other Thoughts
So we got a pretty definitive date for Ted meeting the mother there, didn't we? On the one hand, revealing Ted's daughter will be born late 2014/early 2015 could be a good sign that Bays and Thomas are nearing their endgame; on the other hand, it could just mean some ridiculous temporal stretching if CBS is unwilling to let the show go after next season and they have to scramble to either "make time" for future seasons or undo this reveal.

The various flashbacks and "fake" flashforwards in this episode were a nice way to integrate Robin into the episode while still sticking to Adult Ted's declaration last episode that he and Robin wouldn't see each other for awhile.

Dr. Bitz and I were discussing this, and a quick search on the internet provided no answers, so if anyone follows this stuff more closely than I do, here's what I'm wondering: I know that in this season's finale we'll learn who Barney is marrying. But is that wedding set to occur at the end of this season (meaning, May 2012 for the characters) or some undetermined time in the future? Because if that wedding is supposed to occur for the characters within in the next few weeks, it's either going to be Quinn (which would be disappointing) or else the show is going to have to jump through some pretty awkward hoops to make it be Robin (which would also be disappointing because of the hoop jumping).

For the record, while I share Barney's love of Star Wars, I do not share his particular Stormtrooper fetish.

Ted: At least tell me that you will have changed the by-then nine-year-old beer commercial reference.


Glee: Heart


While not as good as last year's "Silly Little Love Songs", this episode was not as bad as a Valentines Day episode could have been (which seems to be a refrain with these Glee reviews of late, which is I suppose is a good thing). It was a little random in some of the storylines it dealt with (like the God Squad) but some of that could just be because it's been awhile since I last watched the show.

Of course, the big deal with this episode was meeting Rachel's dads, and they didn't disappoint, though it would be hard for Jeff Goldblum to do so. Better yet, I appreciated that their "we're totally okay with it" perspective on Finn and Rachel getting married turned out to be a ruse; this was probably the closest the show'll ever come to dealing with that plotline realistically, even if their ruse was the kind of thing that would only happen on TV.

The other main storyline was the God Squad bit, and while it felt a bit random (especially the insertion of Dreadlock Jesus, whom I assume is another Glee Project winner/castoff) and the conclusion mostly spoke to my bias (that Christianity is about more than a strictly literal interpretation of the Bible), it worked for the most part as a bit of tertiary plotting to lend the episode some structure. Also, I liked the sort of tongue-in-cheek way it commented on how we can watch Finn and Rachel make out all the time but networks (and some viewers) freak out as soon as it becomes a same sex makeout session.

Other Thoughts
That said, Figgins is seriously the worst administrator in history. All it takes is one complaint for him to haul Santana and Brittany into his office? Geez, if I'd known that, I would have complained to the principal of my school a lot more back in the day.

I feel for him, and in general I like the Karofsky storyline, but dude, Kurt has a boyfriend. What did you expect? 

No Sue this week. Didn't miss her.

Artie and Rory's infatuation with Sugar was also a bit random, but whatever. It's Glee.

Loved Puck automatically asking when the baby was due after Finn and Rachel announced their engagement. Also, I loved how Sugar nipped Will's fundraising in the bud by simply handing over the money they needed (but still: NOW the club is worried about money for costumes? Where has the money been coming from previously?).

Stuff I Shouldn't Worry About: Okay, so Rachel and Finn have dinner with their parents, go to bed, and then Rachel begins her over-long bedtime routine, culminating in the two of them fighting, then getting back together off screen, then deciding to join their friends at Breadsticks...at 7:15? They did all of that before 7:15? Rachel starts getting ready for bed when the sun is still up?

Santana: I fully support your right to be unhappy with Finn for the rest of your lives.

Will: Hey gang, Regionals are next week, but instead of practicing or preparing for it, we'll spend the week singing love songs.

Favorite Song: I wasn't particularly wowed by any of the songs (and I abhor "Love Shack") but most were decent. I guess I'll say "L-O-V-E", just cuz I like Nat King Cole and it was nice to see Tina and Mike sing together.  


30 Rock: St. Patrick's Day


I'm starting my attempted catch-up for 30 Rock with this episode, simply because it's the most recent one I've watched (don't expect regular coverage of the show quite yet, as I may skip writing about episodes in order to get closer to the present), which is a shame, because it's probably the episode I enjoyed the least since the last one I wrote about ("Today You Are A Man"), with "The Tuxedo Begins", "Leap Day" and "Standards and Practices" being particular favorites in that batch. But that's the price I pay for falling behind. Certainly, this episode isn't awful, but the show definitely wasn't firing on all cylinders. Dennis got in some good lines (like the fact that the lesbian movie he was watching was The Kids Are All Right) in his plot with Liz, but that was the rare storyline that was more about character development than laughs. The Jack plot, usually an episode's biggest strength, was similarly light on laughs beyond his admittedly comical obsession with a tabletop RPG, while the Tracy/Jenna plot was a rehash of earlier episodes. Again, nothing terrible, and 30 Rock fires enough jokes a minute that I laughed plenty throughout, but definitely a step down after a handful of really good episodes.   


Community: Pillow and Blankets


Again, it could be my (admittedly somewhat irrational) affection for Ken Burns documentaries, but I thought this episode was absolutely brilliant, depicting the blanket/pillow fort war in a clever and hilarious way (substituting the Burns-standard "reading from letters and journals" device with excerpts from emails, texts and Facebook updates was fantastic). My biggest complaint would be the complete absence of Vice Dean Layborne, missing despite so craftily bringing about the conflict in the previous episode. But I get how inserting Layborne into the documentary structure wouldn't have worked, and I'll happily take his absence in exchange for what we got, especially since I doubt the Vice Dean's efforts to win over Troy aren't over, even if Troy and Abed are, for now, once again friends.

Other Thoughts
The bit that got the biggest laugh from me was the explanation of all the north, east and west named buildings that had little to do with their location relative to the directions after which they were named.

The tag, with Troy and Abed in a pledge drive PBS style, was one of the show's best.  


Saturday Night Live: Sofia Vergara and One Direction


Not exactly a strong bounce back episode after a couple clunkers and a hiatus, but this episode was still solid, featuring a few truly hilarious sketches, some so-so ones, and one out-and-out clunker. Sofia Vergara acquitted herself well, working within her limitations and generally handling whatever she was asked to do, even if she wasn't the most dynamic of hosts.

Cold Open: Another ho-hum Romney open, this time mocking his propensity for loving every place he's in despite being totally unfamiliar with it (but really, isn't that just a political thing? Don't all politicians do that?).

Monologue: Nothing too exciting, but I am glad that Vergara actually did a monologue, instead of singing, or taking questions from the "audience", or having cast members come on stage pretending to be people, etc.

Just Friends: Not awful (I laughed a few times) but nothing to write home about. Not one of the better pre-taped bits this season.

Bein' Quirky: Glad to see this one back, and in the top spot. Clearly the standout sketch of the night, with a spot-on Drew Barrymore impression from Wiig (more of this, less whacky Wiig, please). Taran Killam's Michael Cera and Abby Elliot's Zooey Deschanel remained hilarious. Also a plus? Andy Samberg as Mayim Bialik.

Almost Pizza: Bizarre, but funny. Hader really sold it, and Wiig did a nicely-restrained crazy person. “Sure smells like pizza.” “That was their intention.” “WHOSE?!”

Anchor Commercial: One of the night's "meh" sketches, a one joke premise that wasn't that funny and went on too long.

Gilly: The WTF? moment of the night, as we'd been previously assured that Gilly had been retired, yet there she was. I have no idea why she came back, but she was as painfully unfunny as ever (which isn't to say I didn't laugh at Brian Moynihan or Keenan in the sketch, because I always do, but they're not worth putting up with Gilly).

Weekend Update: This seemed shorter than usual, and not just because we only got one guest appearance. Drunk Uncle isn't my favorite Weekend Update character, but he's always good for a few laughs ("Netflix me, Netflix me!").

The Manuel Ortiz Show: Another meh sketch, but I don't consider it a terrible one, as the dancing and insane escalation is mildly funny, even if it is repetitious and the same sketch every time out. 

Watch What Happens Live: My other favorite sketch of the night. I've suffered through more than enough Andy Cohen thanks to his role in all the Top Chef reunion episodes, so I greatly enjoyed Killam skewering him at his douchey worst.

Shampoo Ad: After popping up in the Watch What Happens Sketch, new cast member Kate McKinnon took center stage with a Penelope Cruz impression. The voice was spot on, but she looked nothing like her, which is pretty much a sad commentary on SNL's complete lack of diversity.

Hunger Games: Surprised this was placed so late in the show. Having neither read nor seen Hunger Games, this was probably not as funny for me as it could of been, but there was enough general funny stuff that I enjoyed it.

Favorite Sketch: Bein' Quirky, but man, Watch What Happens Live comes close. 

Episodes Featuring a Game Show: 5/18
Episodes with a Monologue Featuring a Song: 7/18

17 comments:

  1. I actually don't have much to say. As a long time HBO viewer, i'd say the amount of sex in GoT is even above HBO's norm. It certainly seems like there's more sex than True Blood, which is saying something. I'm not sure what, but definitely something.
    We just watched the most recent Glee episode, and i can't wait for you to get to that because i have some biiiiitching to do. I see our relationship with Glee coming to an end soon.
    And yes, dreadlocks is also another Glee Project winner, which means he gets a 7 episode deal. Though Rory has definitely been on for longer than 7 episodes so who knows. Anyway, dreadlocks (sam in real life. I don't know what his character name is) is pretty much exactly like that in real life.

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  2. Funny you should mention the Baelish scene as out of place: it doesn't happen in the book. Also, Melisandre's and Stannis' relationship is more or less implied, but I suppose subtlety, specifically sexually, isn't going to happen dealing with HBO over a book.

    Also, I apologize for being "that guy" the "well in the books..." person. I realize it can come off as pretentious. It isn't necessarily a critism on the episode either, merely observations.

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  3. when Stannis was screwing what's her name on the chart table, we kept saying how it was going to take someone weeks to put all those important pieces back where they belonged. HOPE IT'S WORTH IT STANNIS!. also- i'm glad blacksmith bastard figured out that Arya was a girl on his own (and already)
    i continue to hate Joffrey and love Tyrion
    i was irritated with Theon's family all giving him shit about the clothes he was wearing (like the 'dress'). Umm- were you sending him clothes when he was a child living with the Starks? no? then he's probably wearing the clothes the Starks are giving him, which would be in the fashion of the north. pretty sure a child wouldn't have the funds to maintain a fashion wardrobe from his homeland, and when he was old enough to do so he probably wouldn't want to since he'd gotten used to the northern fashion *rant over*
    As Sarah said we are struggling with Glee (although looking forward to season 2 of the Glee project this summer).

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  4. @Sarah: Though Rory has definitely been on for longer than 7 episodes so who knows.

    Well, he's appeared in more than 7 episodes. He has yet to acquire even an episode's worth of characterization.

    Anyway, dreadlocks...is pretty much exactly like that in real life.

    Way to act, dude. :)

    @Soapfish: Funny you should mention the Baelish scene as out of place: it doesn't happen in the book.

    Interesting. On the one hand, it isn't like I don't want some original scenes, or scenes that only move the plot forward; on the other hand, it just felt randomly placed in the episode, in a way that maybe it wouldn't have in a different episode. Or if it had started with, I dunno, Tyrion visiting Baelish and then segued into his scene with Roz, it would have felt less random in the context of the episode?

    Also, Melisandre's and Stannis' relationship is more or less implied, but I suppose subtlety, specifically sexually, isn't going to happen dealing with HBO over a book.

    I'd read that elsewhere online, though someone else pointed out part of the reason it's implied is because neither Stannis nor Melisandre are ever POV characters, so the only way it could have been established definitively is for either of them to tell one of the POV characters about it, or for one of the POV characters to have heard/seen them together.

    I apologize for being "that guy" the "well in the books..." person.

    Nah, no worries. It doesn't come across like that at all. As someone who has yet to read the books, I appreciate those kinds of observations as long as they're not too spoiler-y (as I'm endlessly fascinated by the subject of cross-media adaptations).

    @Anne: HOPE IT'S WORTH IT STANNIS!

    It probably was. She seems like a firecracker, if you know what I mean. ;)

    pretty sure a child wouldn't have the funds to maintain a fashion wardrobe from his homeland

    THEN HE SHOULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO GET THOSE CLOTHES THE IRON WAY!!!

    Seriously though, yeah, Balon and Yara were pretty much unfairly dickish to Theon, which was probably the point. It certainly did create a fair amount of sympathy for a character who was pretty douchey up until that point.

    As Sarah said we are struggling with Glee

    Clearly, I am too, as it took me this long to even start catching up, but this last episode did remind me, for all its inherent flaws, that I do genuinely enjoy parts of the show, so I'll be sticking with it, even if the days of me actively looking forward to a new episode are long gone.

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  5. So speaking of TV age math that makes no sense... Theon's dad said something like it had been nine years since he'd seen his son, then said that the Starks had Theon longer than he did. Wouldn't this make Theon 17 years old at most?? That wasn't computing for me.

    Also, I loved at the end of Community, when Jeff's voiceover asked Keith David's voiceover "Were you in The Cape?" and Keith David denied it.

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  6. George Jetson is 40 years old, Jane Jetson is 33 years old and Judy Jetson is 16 years old. A 24 years old knocking up a 17 year old? Pretty racy....

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  7. @Matt: Wouldn't this make Theon 17 years old at most?? That wasn't computing for me.

    I'm pretty sure your math checks out. My understanding, from those who have read the books, is that the show has significantly "aged up" the depiction of certain characters through the actors cast to play them, for a variety of reasons (the likelihood of getting better performances from older actors, the inability/lack of desire to depict certain things happening to characters who look their age, etc.).

    For example, from what I've heard, in the books Dany is roughly 14 while Robb is 19, whereas on the show, both characters are clearly depicted as being older.

    So Theon is probably supposed to be 17, even if he clearly looks older on the show.

    I loved at the end of Community, when Jeff's voiceover asked Keith David's voiceover "Were you in The Cape?" and Keith David denied it.

    That was excellent, especially given the Community's history with that show.

    @Dr. Bitz: A 24 years old knocking up a 17 year old? Pretty racy....

    George Jetson, you scoundrel...

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  8. Holy crap! I'm supposed to be writing a book, but this isn't it.

    Game of Thrones: The Night Lands

    if you're going to stick your hand down a random woman's pants, make damned sure she's not your sister first.

    You said it... um... brother.

    Just how long was Theon gone, anyway? I see from a Web search, always tricky what with spoilers, that it was almost a decade from the age of 10 — so maybe he wouldn't recognize his sister, but that still seems weird to me.

    I'm going to steal a page from David Sims' book over at the AV Club and discuss things location by location.

    I like that idea not only because it organizes the discussion but keeps track of what's happeneing where. My grandfather used to keep himself on his toes by periodically naming the nine contemporary Supreme Court justices or counting back Presidents. I'm thinking of doing the same thing with GOT locales.

    Watching [Theon] struggle between the life he's known, the life he wants, and the reality that falls between both should be interesting.

    Nicely put.

    his father, Balon, did make an immediate impression

    I kept saying to myself, "Filch took over Hogwarts and it's really gone to pot." That aside, I absolutely loved the "iron price vs. gold price" bit. I will say that I started to get confused when they began referring to the seat in power in King's Landing as the Iron Throne and even (I think) the Iron Crown, for a while associating it with Balon's desire to make the Iron Islands an independently ruled realm.

    I was a bit surprised that she revealed herself to Gendry so soon

    Since I'm sympathetic to her, I hope that it mostly results in (further) mutual protection and banter, although they were talking loudly enough in the crowd that I wouldn't be surprised if the revelation comes to bite them in the butt.

    thus fulfilling the episode's baby-killing quotient.

    Well, if you're having that much sex, you're gonna need population control. Although be it Jon Snow at Craster's Keep or the man on the street in King's Landing, I suppose a twisted version of Martin Niemöller's famous words would come to mind: "First they came for the boys born of incest, but I did not speak up... Then they came for the king's bastard sons..."

    and even then, it could be read as subtle commentary on the sexposition itself, as we cut from Theon and the salt wife to a guy watching a guy watching a sex scene.

    I appreciated the nested peeping-on-the-peepers cuts, but I didn't actually take away this meta wink from the scene while watching it, although lke I said over at Nikki's I want you to be right. 8^)

    Tyrion: "'Dwarf'? You should have stopped at 'imp'."

    Gendry: "You shouldn't insult people that are bigger than you."
    Arya: "Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone."

    Cersei: "You haven't taken it seriously. You haven't; Jaime hasn't. It's all fallen on me."
    Tyrion: "As has Jaime, repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon."

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  9. How I Met Your Mother: Trilogy Time

    While nothing here was particularly groundbreaking, this episode was classic HIMYM in the way the narrative moved through time and spoke to one of the series' overarching questions

    Agreed.

    revealing Ted's daughter will be born late 2014/early 2015 could be a good sign that Bays and Thomas are nearing their endgame

    I was surprised for a moment that they'd block themselves in like this, but then I realized that we know Future Ted's narrating from 2030 and his kids are roughly 15.

    What followed was me hoping that, since Robin doesn't turn out to be the mother, there's a specific reason why Ted began his story with when he met her. I realize that she's an essential part of the tale — at least the way he's telling it — but so are Barney, Marshall, and Lily, and we didn't start with when he met them. Now I'm also wondering, since they basically keep reusing the same early footage when they even bother showing the kids (which they're wise to do sparingly), how long in real time Ted's spiel in 2030 is taking.

    if that wedding is supposed to occur for the characters within in the next few weeks

    I don't think that we necessarily knew (or know now), but at this point I'm betting on it being a flashforward — within the one-long-flashback of the series, that is — like they did with Lily and Marshall's wedding, catching up with it in the overall linear part of Future Ted's narrative later. But I'm with you that if it is a rush job both options are disappointing at the very least for it being a rush job.

    And I'm with you on the Stormtrooper thing. Robin in the Stormtrooper suit was awesome, something totally "sitcom" that I probably wouldn't buy from a lesser show, but, no, I neither have any kind of fetish there nor want to think about how uncomfortable it would be.

    2003 Ted: "Your life's not that bad."
    2003 Marshall: "Dude. I manage a Structure."

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  10. Glee: Hearts

    this was probably the closest the show'll ever come to dealing with that plotline realistically

    Ha! So true.

    I'd have had a problem if the show just slipped in the dads like they'd been to prior performances and we just hadn't seen them — because such a big deal is constantly made about the glee club literally having no support at its concerts from family or friends — yet since that fact is itself totally unbelievable it was also crazy, if at least in continuity, to see the dads reacting in the crowd. The family sings at home constantly, and Rachel's dads support her so lovingly, but they only show up now? Glee confounds utterly.

    NOW the club is worried about money for costumes? Where has the money been coming from previously?

    They actually said during the winter-holiday episode that they'd blown their entire budget on decorations for the choir room but that it was worth it (which, of course, it couldn't possibly be, no matter how the decorations warm your heart). So like with the dads attending their first concert, this is actually a rare case of the show being consistent but in that consistency exposing how dumb it can be.

    They did all of that before 7:15?

    I had the same WTF reaction.

    Mercedes: "They say one out of every ten people is gay. And if that's true, that means one of the twelve apostles might have been gay. My guess is Simon, because that name's the gayest."

    Rachel's Gay Dad #2: "Honesty. Respect. Dance. Those are the foundations of the Berry family."

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  11. 30 Rock: St. Patrick's Day

    I loved that "the lez movie on Showtime" is The Kids Are All Right.

    I'm willing to admit that I thought that the priest who showed up in St. Patrick's cathedral might've been played by Frank McCourt as an in-joke, but I also thought that he'd passed away, so I looked it up and sure enough McCourt's dead and — as if I really have to say this — that guy's not him. Another Moby-style near miss...

    30 Rock fires enough jokes a minute that I laughed plenty throughout

    You can say that again. I'm pretty sure that this is the episode where I realized that I'd rather watch the show on Hulu because I pause it so much to play something back to hear again even if I'm not writing it down.

    Liz: "Criss and I are gonna ride out Hurricane Shamrock in my apartment laughing at excerpts from Angela's Ashes."

    Dennis: "I tried to steal beer from a Duane Reade and some black guy cold-cocked me."
    Criss: "Ooh. Like a security guard?"
    Dennis: "I don't know, pal; I don't see people that way."

    I had to look up Duane Reade, by the way. Never heard of 'em... It's funny how geography works.

    Jenna: "Hey! Before we go on, do you want to pray together?"
    (simultaneously)
    Tracy: "Oh, Michael Jackson's ghost..."
    Jenna: "Oh, Great Kabbalah Monster..."

    Tracy: (to phone) "Siri, Kill Jenna!"
    (later...) Siri: "I killed Jenna Elfman. Is that correct?"

    Hazel: "I'm not about to screw this up, Kenneth. 'Cause then I'd get kicked out of show business. And then how would I be famous — by starting a fire, and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I'm a hero, and then I'm in Playboy?"

    Sue: "I am a virgin... with white guys."

    Guy in Street: "Wait... Is now the time on St. Patrick's Day when we talk about our feelings? (turns to friend) I don't understand your art, Kevin!"

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  12. And since you've skipped ahead to this episode, I'll share the dialogue and at least one plot-related thought from the ones since "The Tuxedo Begins".

    30 Rock: Leap Day

    Grizz: "You really believe in Leap Day William?"
    Tracy: "I used to. Then I tried to eat all this Benihana. Now I don't know anymore."

    I didn't attribute the dialogue when jotting it down, so actually that might have been Dot-Com, not Grizz, or frankly anybody else in the scene.

    30 Rock: Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whisky

    Kenneth: "I have some real problems with this Law and Order: SVU script. We can't say 'Dick Wolf' on TV."

    That was funnier out loud.

    Jack: "Kenneth? A word?"
    Kenneth: "Balloon!"

    30 Rock: Standards and Practices

    Tracy: "I feel like Oscar the Grouch today — and not just 'cause I woke up in a garbage can this morning, startling someone named Gordon."

    Liz: "Kenneth — You can do this job, and I do respect you."
    Kenneth: "Then wash my feet with your hair."

    Tracy: "My brain is working overtime. I finally understand the ending of The Sixth Sense: Those names are the people who worked on the movie."

    I really thought that Jenna's brown-haired daughter was going to turn out to be Liz's through some wacky egg mix-up.

    Now I'm behind on the show myself, so hopefully I'll catch up to where you are and everything will be rainbows.

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  13. Community: Pillows and Blankets

    The bit that got the biggest laugh from me

    I loved that, especially because of the diagram. Sometimes I think we're twins... separated by ten years, three states and two great lakes, and, um, different parentage.

    Narrator: "Unfortunately for Britta, and millions of photographers like her, just because something is in black-&-white doesn't mean it's good."

    Annie: "Jeff. You're disgusting. Troy and Abed's friendship is at stake! You can buy special icons in packages at the app store. Piece of sushi, birthday cake, stop sign, snowman, umbrella. Annie Edison."

    Dean Pelton: "I just heard from the Guinness rep. He's not coming. He's been fired — in what he described as the World's Biggest Mistake. I doubt that will make the next edition."

    Jeff: "Hey... Were you in The Cape?"
    Narrator: "No."

    But he was. It was the unmistakably mellifluously voiced Keith David.

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  14. Saturday Night Live: Sofia Vergara & One Direction

    I thought that it was the best Mitt Romney cold open in memory, which granted isn't saying much — and, yes, it was predictable and somewhat generic to politicians, although when Romney panders it's even more painfully awkward than usual.

    My favorites were yours, too, outside of the Watch What Happens parody ('cause I've mercifully never seen the show or Andy Cohen at all) — namely Bein' Quirky and the bizarre Almost Pizza spot. Also, "Li'l Poundcake" is still funny to me and The Manuel Ortiz Show is pretty much never funny.

    I remember being late to the game not only on realizing that Glee's New Direction sounded like "nude erection" when you said it but on hearing that it was apparently intentional. Naturally I had to wonder if the name of this actual British boy band One Direction was supposed to sound like "want erection". If so it's not as clever and I don't really know whether that makes any sense but that's... one to grow on.

    I promise that I planned no double entendre with that when I started to type it.

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  15. Anne: Stannis was screwing what's her name on the chart table

    Best. Clue answer. Ever.

    Either that or the germ of a hilarious parody mash-up of GOT and TNG's "Darmok".

    "Stannis taking Melisandre in the war room."
    "Littlefinger, resembling young Gary Oldman, wiping spilt seed from a whore's mouth."
    "Jaime and Cersei Lannister high up, in the cave."
    "Bran Stark, peering into the cave."
    "Mmm. Bran Stark, falling from the cave."

    ... Where was I?

    Anne: we kept saying how it was going to take someone weeks to put all those important pieces back where they belonged

    Yeah, I know. I'm always watching that kind of scene and screaming inside, "Why are you just knocking all that stuff over?!?" I can be a passionate guy, but I'm also glad to see those scenes deflated with, like, the woman stopping because the paper-clip magnet's digging into her tush.

    Anne: i was irritated with Theon's family all giving him shit about the clothes he was wearing

    Really. He was living with the Stark family. He should be naked.

    Teebore: Way to act, dude. :)

    My one huge problem with The 'Glee' Project was that it had every conceivable kind of workshop or challenge appropriate for Glee except for teaching the kids and/or judging the kids on their acting — outside of the music videos they were making, to be fair, but giving sass and smoldering looks in those obviously doesn't necessarily translate to the 60-70% of the show that's spoken dialogue and interaction.

    By the way, I'm now picturing Balon Greyjoy totally out of the GOT element in a late-night TV ad sitting by his fireplace as he hawks his surefire self-help tapes to get what you want in life The Iron Way!

    What history does Community have with The Cape?

    Dr. Bitz: George Jetson is 40 years old, Jane Jetson is 33 years old and Judy Jetson is 16 years old.

    First of all, The Jetsons was the future according to the 1960s. Now the future is very different. Second of all, I have it from reliable sources that Elroy is actually George's son by Judy, but they couldn't actually say it onscreen because there was no HBO back then.

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  16. Blam: My grandfather used to keep himself on his toes by periodically naming the nine contemporary Supreme Court justices or counting back Presidents.

    I do the same thing with the Presidents and Best Picture winners sometimes. I memorized both to keep awake during class in college. I started on the rulers of England and World Series winners, but had to graduate...

    although they were talking loudly enough in the crowd that I wouldn't be surprised if the revelation comes to bite them in the butt

    I was thinking the same thing. Lord knows they're in the middle of a group of people who would have no hesitation in exploiting knowledge like that. Keep your voices down!

    so are Barney, Marshall, and Lily, and we didn't start with when he met them.

    Huh. That's a really good point I'd never considered before. I wonder if that's a further suggestion that Barney will be marrying Robin: we know Ted meets the mother there, so maybe that's why he starts with Robin: the story of how she meets the group, dates Ted, falls in love with Barney is all necessary lead up to Ted meeting the mother.

    "Dude. I manage a Structure."

    I had totally forgot about Structure until that line. I remember when shopping there was a big deal when I was in school.

    The family sings at home constantly, and Rachel's dads support her so lovingly, but they only show up now? Glee confounds utterly.

    Indeed. And look, I get it, they wanted the introduction of Rachel's dads to be a big deal, but they didn't have to SHOW the kids parents at the performances; just mention they're there, and play the whole "no one supports us" routine more realistically and less like, well, Glee, which has to take everything to extremes. It wouldn't change the underdog feeling of the team if no one BUT THEIR FAMILIES came to their performances; leaving out the families entirely is just unrealistic and causes problems like this down the road.

    Tracy: "I used to. Then I tried to eat all this Benihana. Now I don't know anymore."

    I loved the Leap Day episode. Just the ability to craft this entirely fictional holiday and then have the characters behave as though it was a holiday as well known to the audience as Christmas or St. Patrick's Day impressed the hell out of me.

    Sometimes I think we're twins... separated by ten years, three states and two great lakes, and, um, different parentage.

    Ha! Brothers from another...lots of things. :)

    Piece of sushi, birthday cake, stop sign, snowman, umbrella. Annie Edison.

    This one especially cracked me up because I have a few friends who text exactly that kind of stuff occasionally (well, when they've been drinking).

    I promise that I planned no double entendre with that when I started to type it.

    Ha! Regarding One Direction, I was especially taken by how everyone except Bruno Mars Jr. looked to be wearing a whig, but I'm pretty sure that's just how kids these days style their hair...

    What history does Community have with The Cape?

    Just occassional references to the fact that Abed loved the show, bemoans its cancellation and yearns for "six seasons and a movie" for The Cape. "Six Seasons and a movie" having then become something of a rallying cry for fans of the show online during its hiatus and its continually questionable future on NBC.

    Second of all, I have it from reliable sources that Elroy is actually George's son by Judy, but they couldn't actually say it onscreen because there was no HBO back then.

    Well played.

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  17. Teebore: I do the same thing with the Presidents and Best Picture winners sometimes.

    I'd never thought of Best Picture winners as an active exercise, which is funny since I often try to do that out of simple curiosity or to place a date. I started doing the Presidents a while back, though, less as a memory exercise than realizing that since I knew people born during Woodrow Wilson's Presidency (my grandparents) I should damn well be able to count the Presidents back to then. I did have to come up with a slight mnemonic to go before FDR, which is where my obvious/immediate recall runs out, but I can now go back to McKinley at the turn of the previous century.

    Teebore: I had totally forgot about Structure until that line. I remember when shopping there was a big deal when I was in school.

    I'd forgot about it too, so the line was even funnier; even though it was a little too easy to make fun of, I got a really nice casual jacket there.

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