A Poetic Celebration of Dr. Bitz's Fantasy Baseball Team

For two seasons of Fantasy Baseball now, Dr. Bitz and I have had a standing wager: whenever we'd play each other, head to head, we agreed that the loser of that matchup would have to write up a blog post about how awesome the winner's team is.

If you can believe it, in two seasons we never reached a decisive conclusion: we'd either tie (in which case, technically, whomever had the better ERA would be declared the winner, but we agreed that didn't seem like a REAL victory, worth bragging about) or else face each other during the week shortened by the All Star game (in which we agreed to void our bet since it was a short week; good thing, too, because this season Dr. Bitz CRUSHED me 9-1 that week).

Until now.

That's right, with Dr. Bitz's decisive 6-4 victory over me in the championships last week, we finally have winner in our little wager. Sadly, I was the loser.

So without further ado, here is a poetic celebration of the awesomeness of Dr. Bitz's Fantasy Baseball team.

Mighty Yankee
A-Rod swings the bat.
In awe stands Jesus himself
reborn a Yankee

A Man Named Randy
There once was a pitcher named Randy.
His fastball and slider were dandies.
When facing his foes,
his pitches said "no!"
For at striking out batters he was handy.

Ode to a Second Basemen*








*this space left blank because Dr. Bitz's second basemen went on the disabled list early in the week, and his team is so good, it didn't need a healthy one to beat me.

B is for Baseball

Albert Pujols knocks 'em home,
While Dan Haren strikes 'em out,
Ethier keeps on hittin'.
Swing and a miss!
Opposing teams hear.
Many runs are scored.
Every player's a star!

Second
For many kids, hitting a Major League homer is a dream
Most pros are happy hitting one in a game it seems
But for Carlos Delgado, second-half savior
Hitting two home runs in a game is routine.

Talkin' Baseball
(sung to the tune of Talkin' Softball...or the original Talkin' Baseball song, both by Terry Cashman).

Well, Dr. Bitz had done it.
His Skynet team had won it.
With Fausto Carmona sucking
all the while.

Jay Bruce's rookie season
made us swoon.
While Bedard spent the season in
the doctor's room.

We're talkin'...
Baseball.
From Blaine to Mahtomedi.
Talkin'...
Baseball.
Shoppach, Pujols and Dye.

Tejada, and his spicy hits and runs
Ethier, who always get it done.
We're talking homers...
Relievers, and A-Rod.

We're talkin'...
Baseball.
From Blaine to Mahtomedi.
Talkin'...
Baseball.
Shoppach Pujols and Dye.

Tejada, and his spicy hits and runs
Ethier, who always get it done.
We're talking homers...
Relievers, and A-Rod.

Consider my hat off to you, Dr. Bitz. Well played.