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Monday, September 29, 2008

MLB Headlines Week 25

Yeah, Pessi-Bitz is back. Let's just go over the facts. The Twins pretty much choke against the Royals but manage to salvage a game. The White Sox do something similar but win their one game against the Tigers to force the one game playoff. They do it in semi-dramatic fashion giving them the momentum.
So, you've got the Twins going against the White Sox who have all the momentum playing at the White Sox stadium. The Twins are a terrible road team and the White Sox are a great home team. To top it all off, The Twins manager is saying "Hey, we nobody thought we'd even be in this position. So we're happy to have gotten this far." Which would be fine if you already lost the division, the manager should put some positive spin on it, but when you still got a chance you should not talk about being happy with just settling.
I'll let you do the math on who I feel will win Tuesday night.
Oh, and naming the new Twins ballpark "Target Field" is dumb also. There should only be one "stadium" with the name Target in it in the same city. I mean, what's the over/under on people confusing Target Center with Target Field in casual conversation?
Oh, and I predict that Mauer loses the Batting Average title on Tuesday while the Twins lose. How's that for pessimism? Headline of the Week:
With a Win, Mets can live to see another Shea

It's funny, cause they didn't. Now Shea stadium is being torn down. I suppose I'll give a nod to a sign I saw in the Metrodome on last Tuesday that said "I have fever, and the only cure is more Kubel" which was cool since he hit two home runs in that game.

Dr. Bitz:
September 27th, 2008 - Royaks 4 Twins 2
Royal choke job by Twins

September 28th, 2008 - Rays 8 Tigers 7
Lambert lambasted in eleventh

September 28th, 2008 - Pirates 6 Padres 1
Pirates not friendly to pitcher LeBlanc

September 28th, 2008 - Royals 0 Twins 6
Offense cooks up a half dozen runs for Baker but only the White Sox can make it a sweet finale

September 28th, 2008 - Marlins 4 Mets 2
No playoffs in New York as Mets "Shea" goodbye to their stadium and their season

September 28th, 2008 - Cubs 1 Brewers 3
CC clutch against Cubs as Braun powers Brewers into playoffs

I know you're going to say that I'm just being bitter and pessimistic with the first pun. And you're right. But that loss Saturday really sticks in my craw. The Friday loss I can handle. I could accept the Twins going 2 of 3 against the Royals and Friday was the predictable "let down" game. But the Saturday loss was unacceptable. They had so many chances to win that game and they blew all of them. And if the Twins won that game (and the subsequent one) they wouldn't have to worry about going to Chicago.
Anyway, I won last week. And I think I take the crown of the best punner this baseball season. I have 11 Wins and 5 ties. Teebore has 7 wins and 4 ties. So this week doesn't really factor in...but keep up the voting anyway!


10:58 AM: Well, if you didn't read the summation last week, the championship is two weeks long. If it was just one week I would've won. But after the first week my team collapsed while his did awesome. Still, I had a good Saturday, partially due to the Twins imploding, and this is how it looks:
Me: 50 15 50 2 .257 8 11 116 4.75 1.43
Him: 54 14 63 9 .278 8 9 92 4.35 1.31

I'm losing 6-3 at the moment. I have a change at Wins and Runs, but I need on more category, which will be tough. But MAYBE ERA, WHIP, or Average. But it looks bleak. And due to me being...uh...drunk last night I forgot to use my last add on a pitcher. We'll see if it will cost me, as I'd probably take whoever is today's Royals pitcher, Duckworth, to hedge my bets. Which is a bit ominous...But let's see what happens.

1:00 PM: Yahoo's live stat tracker isn't working. Which will make my log harder. Stupid Yahoo...I'm sick of them. Anyway, both Scott Olsen, my pitcher, Carlos Delgado, and Alex Rodriguez are in rain delays. Awesome.

1:39 PM: So I've got Juan Uribe up to the plate with bases loaded in the White Sox game in a tie game. I figure whatever happens is good for me...unless of course Uribe reaches on an error. Which happened. White Sox take the lead but my fantasy team gets no help. Vikings just miss a field goal and are down by 10 at the half. The Twins are playing like a noose is around their's shaping up to be a great day.

2:08 PM: Scott Olsen has pitched 4 Innings with no runs, two hits, and no walks. I can tell you that that's a 0.00 ERA and 0.50 WHIP, what that means for my team? I have no idea because of stupid Yahoo.

2:09 PM: An error gives the Twins a man on first and third with 1 out, then they hit Delmon Young to load the bases. If I didn't know better, I'd think the Royals WANT the Twins to win the division. Now if only Cleveland can hold up their end of the bargain.

2:15 PM: And the Royals screw up a throw to home and the Twins score. The Royals DO want the Twins to win.

2:16 PM: Just like yesterday, the Twins were one hit away from breaking the game open and relieving the pressure that's been building up. Just like yesterday, the Twins failed to get that one big hit. And I have a feeling, that just like yesterday that failure will bite the Twins in the ass.

2:21 PM: Hey, live scoring is back! And I'm still losing 3-6. Awesome!

2:26 PM: 1 for 2 with an RBI and was taken out of the game. God I love end of the season baseball...that's sarcasm. And probably a good reason fantasy baseball should end a week earlier. But perhaps I'm just bitter.

2:33 PM: "Professor" Xavier Nady stabbed me in the back and hit a 3 run homer. I'm losing 6-2 now.

2:45 PM: Justin Morneau popped out. Right now, he's the biggest reason the Twins are struggling. I'm shocked the Twins swept the White Sox the way he played. And frankly, regardless of whether the Twins win the division or not, Morneau does not deserve the MVP. It looks like that honors should go to Dustin Pedroia.

2:57 PM: Joey Votto hits a home run. I'm once again leading that category.

3:08 PM: Jermaine Dye hit a 2 run single. I think my fantasy team is so far out of it that I can't even be remotely happy about it.

3:42 PM: Well, the Twins finally get a clutch hit with Delmon Young's two run single. Looks like the Twins should be winning that game...but the White Sox already wonn. And I just can't see them losing to the Tiger's tomorrow. Looks like a one game playoff is in our future.

4:26 PM: Twins win. I'm still going to lose my championship. Like I said before, I'm sure the White Sox will win tomorrow, so I'm nervous about the Twins playing in U.S. Cellular field.

6:47 PM: I've done the math...and I shouldn't have. According to my calculations, if I picked up Duckworth last night to hedge my bets, which I probably would've done if I wasn't drunk, I would've tied WHIP and won ERA. Making the final 4-4 and giving me the tie breaker in ERA and thus garnering me the championship...and I'm bitter...and pissed at myself...and I don't want to talk about it.

10:44 PM: I suppose I have to do a prologue...:

Me: 54 16 57 2 .265 9 11 131 4.35 1.32
Him: 57 16 69 10 .269 8 9 94 4.29 1.30

Yeah...I lose 6-3. But I really think that if I picked up Duckworth on Saturday instead of pass out I would've won 4-4. *sigh*

Nemesis of The Week:
Me...for being an idiot.

Savior of The Week:
No would've been Duckworth.

The Moral of this week's story is that winners don't drink booze. Take it from me.


  1. Well, you managed to get another vote from Twins pun may have been positive but I'm negative now, so you get the nod there. And your friendly/LeBlanc pun made me chuckle.

    Congrats on another victory over me; you've truly mastered the highest form of comedy.

    Whenever I hear talk of Duckworth, it makes me think of Ducktales, and hence there's a part of me that's always disappointed when I see him and he's just a normal human.

    The worst part about the Twin's losing the division will be smug AJ and Ozzie rubbing it in our faces, talking about how they're the better team because they don't need to use "fundamentals" like "bunts" or "steals" or "base hits" to win games.

    And yes, I'm in full-on Negative Nellie mode here, so I'll agree with your assessment that in the Twins' futile bid for the division tonight, Mauer will also lose the batting title.

  2. Yeah, I think I jumped the gun. I just heard that Mauer would have to go 0 for 7 or worse to lose the batting title. That's extra innings and Mauer not walking.
    And as negative as I can be, even I don't see that happening.

  3. I will be watching the game tonight with hopeful optimism.

    May you choke on your concoction of pessimistic puns and vinegary vitriol. Only slightly, though. I wish you pain, not death.


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