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Monday, April 12, 2010

Blogger's Block

I was planning on writing a post that reviewed the movie Clash of the Titans. But when I sat down to do it I realized it just wasn’t in me. Here’s an impromptu one sentence review: If you go to see Clash of the Titans, you’ll get exactly what you expect.

Anyway, this is all a long way of saying that I have writer’s block…er…blogger’s block, as the case may be. So I’m going to unveil one of my on-going passions in life, creating a list of terrible wedding songs. So, in no particular order or ranking, here are five terrible (or hilarious, depending on how you look at it) songs to play at a wedding reception:

Tempted by Squeeze:

It should be fairly obvious why this is terrible for a wedding reception. And it’s NOT because this song gets monotonous…although that should really be reason enough. Playing this can get really awkward if the groom starts dancing to this song with the maid of honor.

Follow Me by Uncle Kracker:

This is kind of the flip side to Tempted. Of course you generally don’t have to worry about people playing an Uncle Kracker song…well…anywhere. But if you’re bored at the reception you can request this song and see the best man and bride exchange guilty glances during the line “I’m not worried ‘bout the ring you wear, ‘cause as long as no one knows then nobody can care.” Then you can enjoy the fist fight that ensues between the groom and best man. Good times!

If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul:

“If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So, from my personal point a view, get an ugly girl to marry you.”

This song says that either the groom is going to be unhappy or the bride is ugly. In case this song is played, I’ve seen enough Bridezillas episodes to know you should just go with the former interpretation.

Lips of an Angel by Nickleback Jr. (Hinder):

This is a personal favorite terrible wedding song of mine because I desperately want to see a bride and groom not pay attention and pick this song for their first dance. I mean, just listen to the lyrics:

“It's really good to hear your voice saying my name. It sounds so sweet. Coming from the lips of an angel. Hearing those words it makes me weak”

Sounds romantic enough...unless of course you listen to the prior lyrics:

“Well, my girl's in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on”

Perhaps I underestimate the mass public and nobody will ever use this as their wedding song. But I can dare to dream.

Love the One You’re With by Stephen Stills:

“And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”

Well, nothing says romance like settling!

Those are just five of numerous bad wedding songs. Some time I may share more with you, but for now I’d love to hear if any of you have ideas for bad wedding songs. Let's see what y’all can come up with!


  1. Bryan Adams - In the Heat of the Night

  2. This should totally be a recurring (or semi-recurring) feature.

    Nickleback's funny cuz it's true.

    "Love the One You're With" is still, I think, the worst of the bunch. But an unknowing selection of "Lips of an Angel" for a first dance would easily trump it.

    I've always thought "Friday I'm In Love" would be a hilariously bad wedding song, simply because I've always understand it to be saying that the singer doesn't care about you any day except Friday.

    "I don't care if Monday's blue
    Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too
    Thursday I don't care about you
    It's Friday, I'm in love"

  3. How about Bryan Adams-Everything I Do (I Do It For You)? LOL, so much cheese.

    I love If You Wanna Be Happy!

  4. Hahaha... I would love to pick a highly Bizarre song for my wedding, just to confuse people.

  5. AchingHope, if just complete random bizarreness is what you're going for then I'd suggest Macarthur Park by Richard Harris:

    Of course, that'd be a long dance!

  6. @Dr. Bitz: Actually, that is quite hilarious, because I have always loved that song (for no reason). It would be tempting... Good thing I'm not getting married any time soon.


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