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Monday, March 5, 2012

The Teenage Heartthrob Blogfest

You can read more about the specifics here, but in essence, the purpose of this blogfest is to list seven of the characters/celebrities you crushed on back when you were a teenager. So without further ado, here's my list, and be sure to check out the other participants posts, handily listed at the bottom of this one. 

Scarlett
As seen in GI Joe: A Real American Hero 


Scarlett is the the chicken/egg scenario of my infatuation with redheads. I have no idea if I was drawn to Scarlett in the early goings of my attraction to the opposite sex because she was a redhead, or if my ongoing infatuation with redheads is born of my initial attraction to Scarlett. At any rate, Scarlett represents the first time Lil'Teebore thought "hey, that girl is hot!"

Princess Leia
As seen in Return of the Jedi


It's more or less a cliche at this point, but I can't deny that, like many, many geeks around my age, Princess Leia in that metal bikini played a significant role in my burgeoning sexuality. For nearly an entire generation of geeks, she remains an iconic sex symbol (and it doesn't hurt that she can hold her own with the boys, strangling gangsters and blasting Stormtroopers with abandon).

Madonna
As seen in Dick Tracy


While it would eventually more or less fizzle out, Madonna's starring turn in the underrated Dick Tracy came at the height of both her film career and her status as a sex symbol (this was also around the same time as her controversial and much-ballyhood sex book came out). While I was certainly familiar with her music, back in the day I was never much of a music video guy, and it would be a few years yet before I really started following/seeking out the work of specific musicians, so Madonna the musician meant little to me. But I spent a good chunk of time infatuated with Madonna's big-voiced, slinkily-dressed Breathless Mahoney in Dick Tracy.

Tiffany Amber Thiessen
As seen in Saved by the Bell and Beverly Hills 90210


Like Princess Leia, crushing on Tiffani Amber Thiessen is, for any guy who came of age in the late 80s/90s, pretty much a given. But nevertheless, whether it was the wholesome Kelly Kapowski or the vampish Valerie Malone, I spent more or less a decade lusting after Ms. Thiessen.

Jean Grey
As seen in various X-Men comic books


For most male X-Men fans, the 90s were all about the untouchable southern belle Rogue, or the thong-wearing Asian ninja version of Psylocke, but I was always more drawn to the more wholesome (and redheaded) Jean Grey. Maybe it's because I'm dull like that, maybe it's because she had the eye of Cyclops, my favorite character, or maybe it's just because of that redhead thing again.  

Nicole Kidman
As seen in Malice, Batman Forever, To Die For


Nicole Kidmas has been my number one celebrity crush for a number of years but I've never quite been able to put my finger on why. It's probably some combination of the Australian accent, her penchant for being a redhead, and the fact that she's gorgeous. For whatever reason, she remains my #1 celebrity crush.

The chick with three boobs from Total Recall
As seen in Total Recall


She has three boobs. Three.'Nuff said.


28 comments:

Anne said...

LMAO!! i love your last choice in there. spot on. spot on
i also like that about 1/2 of your choices are ficitonal

Sarah Ahiers said...

Seriously LMAO off at the three boobed chick.
A few of these i could've guessed, but i actually didn't know about your nicole kidman crush. That's a fine choice, though. She's a good-looking chick

Dr. Bitz said...

I dunno....I don't think I could get with a chick with three boobs...it might be weird.

But, really, I'm just surprised Jennifer Aniston wasn't on this list.

Teebore said...

@Anne:i also like that about 1/2 of your choices are ficitonal

What can I say? I tend to like characters more than the actual people who play them (or are entirely fictional...).

but i actually didn't know about your nicole kidman crush.

Yeah, she's been #1 on my celebrity freebie list for a long time. The others are more recent (non-teenaged), so I didn't put them on here.

I don't think I could get with a chick with three boobs...it might be weird.

Just think of it as an odd half threesome...

I'm just surprised Jennifer Aniston wasn't on this list.

Honestly, she's probably #8, especially since the couple seasons of Friends when she's really hot (before she got all skinny and I lost interest) fall right into my teenage years. I had a whole thing written up about her, but cut it in favor of getting the three-boobed chick in there.

Teebore said...

Wow, and I totally forgot to address those last two responses, but Sarah, Dr. Bitz, I'm sure you can figure it out. :)

Hannah Kincade said...

LMAO, OMG. The chick with three boobs is such a teen choice award! You winned!

Catherine Stine said...

Yow! Some funny ones in there! Nicole Kidman has the most class, well, maybe Jean Grey! I actually picked real people for my crushes. Oops. Names withheld! I'm #5.

Teebore said...

@Hannah: The chick with three boobs is such a teen choice award!

I know, right? I couldn't leave her off.

@Catherine: I actually picked real people for my crushes.

The only reason I didn't was because I double checked with Sarah that I could do fictional/celebrity ones; real people was my first thought when I read about the blog hop.

Matthew MacNish said...

Whoa! Where's that shot of Tiffany with a gun from? Not 90210? She looks awesome there.

Teebore said...

@Matthew: Whoa! Where's that shot of Tiffany with a gun from? Not 90210? She looks awesome there.


That is from 90210. From around halfway through her first season, when she went down to Mexico to help Dylan rescue his half-sister and get his money back from the people who conned him out of it in the previous season.

She spends pretty much the entire episode in a bikini and it is very, very awesome.

Hope Roberson said...

Ha ha ha! The last one :) I picked Zack from Saved by the Bell, I was jealous of Kelly :)

Teebore said...

@Hope: I picked Zack from Saved by the Bell, I was jealous of Kelly :)

Heck, *I* was jealous of Kelly. Zack was the coolest kid in school, he could stop time...I'd date him. :)

Joshua said...

I...might have to spend some time re-evaluating my taste in redheads. I used to watch GI Joe...interesting

Teebore said...

@Joshua: I...might have to spend some time re-evaluating my taste in redheads. I used to watch GI Joe...interesting


Like I said, I have no idea which came first. One of the great mysteries of my life. :)

Danielle B. said...

Gawd, I wanted to be Princess Leia so bad. Just to kiss Harrison Ford.

Great choices!

Gracielou said...

Nicole is hot. Tiffany looks hotter in the 90210 pic. Maybe girls in bikinis with guns are just naturally hot...

Teebore said...

@Danielle: I wanted to be Princess Leia so bad. Just to kiss Harrison Ford.

The odd thing is, growing up, I never wanted to be Han. I always wanted to be Luke.

Which I grant is kind of creepy, given my infatuation with Princess Leia, but Luke had a lightsaber. At the time, I was still young enough that lightsaber > girl. Heck, that might still be true...

@Gracielou: Maybe girls in bikinis with guns are just naturally hot...

Definitely. One of the reasons I chose that pic specifically. :)

Blam said...

but Luke had a lightsaber

Yeah
he did.

Teebore said...

@Blam: Yeah he did.

Ha! In hindsight, I really should have seen that coming.

Emily White said...

LOL! This list is absolutely perfect. I can't disagree with you on anything. Especially the last one. Honestly, how CAN a man resist three boobs?

Teebore said...

@Emily: Thanks! Yeah, three boobs are hard to resist. :)

Adrianne Russell said...

I read your list to my husband who is in complete agreement with all of it, most emphatically the woman with three boobs and Jean Grey (Cyclops is also his favorite X-Man.) I have to admit a sense of envy regarding the three-boob lady's perkiness. :)

Teebore said...

@Adrianne:I have to admit a sense of envy regarding the three-boob lady's perkiness. :)

She has Hollywood's help. :)

Joan Crawford said...

It should be known that I too appreciate the Woman of Three Knockers.


*disappears back into the ether*

Teebore said...

@Joan: It should be known that I too appreciate the Woman of Three Knockers.

Somehow, I'm not surprised...

Billy Superstar said...

Pure poetry! I was gonna give you a hard time if Kelly Kapowski was not included. The three boobed alien chick was an inspired conclusion!

Teebore said...

@Billy: I was gonna give you a hard time if Kelly Kapowski was not included.

And I'd have deserved it! She was one of the first ones I thought of for the post.

The three boobed alien chick was an inspired conclusion!

Thanks!

Teebore said...

@Blam: I kind-of take the Hypertime-ish tack that every single story takes place in its own continuity to some small degree, even if most contradictions outside of artistic license are only apparent over time

I also take a similar approach, in which continuity both matters and doesn't at the same time. Like, I can both point out and be aware of the inconsistencies in Banshee's back story brought on by retcons both intentional and as a result of the natural development of a character in a shared universe, yet still enjoy his first appearance on its own merits.

the context wouldn't take long, with the only iffy prospect being that mutants do have that general "feared and hated" vibe going on.

Right, and you'd think at that point, Scott would have a clear enough understanding of Lee to believe she wouldn't immediately resort to "fear and hatred" when he explains it to her.