Talking about comic books, TV shows, movies, sports, and the numerous other pastimes that make us Gentlemen of Leisure.

Monday, July 28, 2008

MLB Headlines Week 17

Well, you can all thank me for the Twins getting out of their slump. The Twins lose 5 in a row and can't hit a lick. They go up against a pitcher on my fantasy team and boom, they get 9 runs. So you're welcome.
Anyway, I suppose you want some headlines. Headline of the Week:
Men of steal are sitting in first in the AL East

Yes, it's referring to the Tampa Bay Rays. Yes, they do steal a lot of bases. And no, Clark Kent does not bat clean up.

July 27th, 2008 - Twins 4 Indians 2
Justin time: Morneau hits game winning RBI in ninth

July 26th, 2008 - Marlins 3 Cubs 2
Cantu Can Do with extra-innings go ahead hit

July 27th, 2008 - White Sox 4 Tigers 6
Tigers take a bite out of Sox

Dr. Bitz:
July 27th, 2008 - Twins 4 Indians 2
Sowers sour after Morneau's game winning RBI

July 27th, 2008 - Braves 10 Phillies 12
Phillies fill the box score with home runs and win a wild one

July 27th, 2008 - Rangers 5 Athletics 6
Blevins in Heaven after putting the Rangers through Hell

Teebore won last week. Which confirms my theory that people were feeling sorry for him. But the baby has had his bottle so you can feel free to vote for me once more. As always, the poll is to the left.

11:51 AM: My team started out good but my opponent did well enough to stay within striking distance of me. She kept pecking away throughout the week and then, during the day yesterday, Josh Hamilton hit a 3 run home run to tie home runs at 9 and take the lead in RBI. Needless to say, I was bitter. Then, I went to a social gathering. I got back after all the games were done to find out that my team awesomely hit 5 home runs along with 11 Runs, 16 RBI and a steal. This is how the week looks after that:
Me: 41 14 44 4 .312 3 1 53 5.86 1.54
Him: 32 9 32 3 .292 3 6 43 2.83 1.20

My pitching has been...disappointing. Ryan Franklin blew two saves prompting me to drop him from my team for like the 8th time. I picked up Pittsburgh's closer, Marte, who was then promptly traded to the Yankees the next day and no longer closing. Since my opponent's pitching was pretty much lights out I've resorted to streaming pitchers. Today I have Randy Johnson and Paul Maholm pitching for me. Let's see if I keep the lead in strike outs and take Wins.

12:19 PM: First batter of the day is Carlos Quentin. He lines out. But Jermaine Dye gets a double. That's good.

1:05 PM: And now Jermaine Dye hit a home run. He's the only guy on my team getting hits so far.

1:24 PM: Watching another pitcher that isn't on my fantasy team dominate the Twins. 5 perfect innings. Apparently the Twins can only score runs if they're playing against my fantasy pitchers.

1:38 PM: I just realized that Maholm is going against Peavy, who my opponent has. It's a grudge match. Only one of the pitchers can get a win, and considering San Diego is winning 1-0, it's looking like that pitcher won't be mine...unless Pittsburgh steps up their hitting.

1:40 PM: Pittsburgh just stepped it up by tying up the game. Coincidentally, so did the Twins. Although, that has no fantasy relevance.

1:44 PM: My opponent's pitcher, Kyle Lohse, is getting rocked. Serves her right for having Kyle Lohse on her team. But I think ERA and WHIP are out of reach anyway. So it doesn't really matter, aside from keeping my opponent from getting a win.

1:47 PM: My team's batting average is .299 now, only 11 points ahead of my opponent. I could use a few more hits.

1:49 PM: And now Jhohnhnhy Peralta grounded out. But I can accept that since it's against the Twins.

1:52 PM: Carl 'Garbage' Crawford grounds into a double play for added emphasis on the non-hit.
1:57 PM: Hey, Carlos Delgado steps it up with a single, bringing up my average for the week to .300.

1:58 PM: Second day in a row Albert "Stick up their" Pujols homered. I almost wish he just singled so that he could get a steal, but beggars can't be choosers. I've had four hits today so far, and half of them are homers. I hope my team is saving some up for next week.

6:54 PM: Just got back from the Dark Knight. It's a good movie, I'd recommend it. It's not the perfect masterpiece that everyone claims it to be though, in my opinion. Not a whole lot changed when I got back. Randy Johnson got a win for me. But Peavy got a win for my opponent. So we'll end up tied in wins.

6:56 PM: Mark this day on the calendar, I'm benching A-Rod. I've won all the hitting categories already and all his players are done. Of course, it's tempting to start him in order to reach the 50 RBI benchmark, but that would be pure vanity. It's not worth risking some odd 0 for 10 night that costs me average.

11:08 PM: Games are over. Pretty boring Sunday, but here's how it looks:
Me: 44 16 48 4 .304 4 2 64 4.62 1.43
Him: 38 9 35 3 .273 4 6 56 3.29 1.24

One of the few times that my opponent does well but I did better. It feels good. I can't believe I broke 40 for both Runs and RBI. 16 home runs will do that.
2 saves is and embarrassing number. I mean, I've got like 5 closers, and they could only muster up 2 saves. I'd be pissed about the two saves Ryan Franklin blew, but it wouldn't have made a difference.

Nemesis of The Week:'s tough to pick out anybody. Well, Mike Mussina pitched 8 innings with no earned runs, 7 strikeouts, and a .75 WHIP...all against my beloved Twins! That's annoying.

Savior of The Week:
There's a few candidates this week (obviously none of them being pitchers). A-Rod contributed 6 Runs, 1 Home Run, 6 RBI, a Steal, and a .500 batting average. But that's good enough for just third. Carlos Delgado had 4 Runs, 4 Home Runs, 10 RBI, and a .280 average. And he isn't even my Fantasy Savior! That honors go to Carlos Quentin. 9 Runs, 4 Home Runs, 7 RBI, and a .273 Batting Average. Those are savior numbers. And just for completion's sake, I should add that Jermaine Dye had 6 Runs, 3 Home Runs, 7 RBI, and a .450 batting average. Man, maybe he should've been the Fantasy Savior. Anyway, the bottom line is my team did very well in hitting this week.

The moral of this week's story is that the Home Run Derby means nothing. I went up against a team that had the Home Run Derby Champion, Justin Morneau and the Home Run Derby Hero Josh Hamilton, yet my team was the one that ended up with 16 Home Runs.


  1. Sorry, but I strongly feel that Teebore's use of "Justin Time" is a cop out - how many times has it been used before? :-P Weak!! Weak!!
    Vote for Dr. Bitz!! ;-)

  2. Nah, don't campaign for me by saying "Vote for Dr. Bitz!"
    I'd prefer "Believe in Dr. Bitz!"

  3. 16 home runs is insane, by the way.

    "Apparently the Twins can only score runs if they're playing against my fantasy pitchers."

    I seem to recall a certain Padilla of the Texas Rangers dominating the Twins one Sunday when he was on your team...

    In my pun's defense...well, I have none. It was a weak contribution, I'll freely admit. For whatever reason, the puns just weren't coming to me this week (though, I don't think *I* ever used the "Justin time" pun before, but I could be wrong).

  4. since I dont read the news, Teebore was much punnier to me.. sorry, Bitzy.


Comment. Please. Love it? Hate it? Are mildly indifferent to it? Let us know!