Commercials I Hate

The magic of DVR has all but eliminated most of my commercial watching. (Although product placement now runs rampant.) The one exception is sports which I generally watch live. This means I still watch some commercials. And some (pretty much all) commercials annoy me. Here is sampling of my most hated relatively recent commercials:

(Oh, and I'm aware that, even though I hate these commercials, by posting them and having more people watch them I'm doing just what the ad executives want. But...whatever.)



I hate this commercial for two reasons. First of all, what a crappy bartender! If she talked to me like that I would have said "Well, I may not care about taste, but you apparently don't care about a tip." I may or may not have followed up that statement with three snaps in a Z formation.

Secondly, if I did care about taste Miller Lite would certainly not be the answer. Of course, that's more a universal complaint I have about the beer commercials that dominate the sports landscape touting the great taste of their watered down piss beer.



My problem this commercial is it doesn't make any sense. If he's racing home, why is he jumping and hiding in the van and using the rear view camera when the kids he was racing show up? And if they're "racing home" wouldn't this be a sibling racing him? Why is the mom leaving the other sibling looking dejected on the lawn? The whole thing is just weird. That is unless the commercial has been edited to change the original intent. The plot thickens!

I have a theory. If you notice, you don't see the kid who challenges Parker to a race lips move at the start of the commercial. I would bet dollars to donuts (mmmm...donuts) that originally the kid was a bully threatening to kick Parker in the nuts and steal his lunch money. So Parker isn't racing, he's running for his life and uses the van to safely elude the bullies.

I suppose some focus group decided the original scene was a bit too morbid or something.



My problem with this commercial is simple. If I ask for a cocktail and you make me a drink that weak I will be punching you in the face. Period.



First of all, the State Farm spokesperson just screams douche. But maybe that's just me.

My real problem with the commercial is the friends of the sandwich guy (who we'll call Doug). Really? You're going to make fun of Doug for being poor? What's wrong? Does Doug not have any terminal illnesses to tease him about? Were you sick of ribbing Doug about the day his parents died in a house fire? What a bunch of asses.

And another thing, State Farm douche, don't act like switching insurance companies is going to magically fix Doug's (or anyone's) money problems. Because it won't. And even if it did Doug would still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat remembering that fateful day mixing matches with bug spray cost his parents their life. Money can't clean the stain on your soul, State Farm!