Brief Thoughts About Baseball (08/03/2009 - 08/09/2009)

1. Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers gave up 5 runs in his first inning on Monday, but that was all he gave up. The Tigers came back and got him the win. If it were the Twins, they'd end up one run short of a comeback.

2. Don't get Prince Fielder angry...you won't like him when he's angry.

3. On Wednesday the Twins lost to Cleveland. And looked terrible. The two biggest culprits in the 8-1 loss? Liriano, whose showing that he pretty much just sucks, and Morneau, who went 0 for 4 and left 5 men on bad.

4. While listening to the Thursday Twins' game I dubbed Cleveland's pitcher Fausto Carmona the Cleveland Francisco Liriano. Well, the Cleveland Francisco Liriano managed to hold the Twins to 1 run but looked horrible in the process. The Twins just couldn't get a clutch hit.
After the game, the Twins clubhouse sounded like it was beginning to implode.
You've got Justin Morneau blaming Alexi Casilla, Alexi blaming the umpires, and Mike Redmond blaming the manager for having the gull to actually play him. In the end, I don't know what the players are complaining about. There's plenty of blame for everyone, fellas.

5. Wednesday was "Mannywood Day" at Dodger Stadium. Manny Ramirez did not play in that game.

6. During Thursday's Red Sox/Yankees game, Posada pulled a Twins and egregiously refused to slide (yes, that was the only clip I could come up with). Of course, unlike the non-sliding Twins, Posada did make up for it later... hip hip, Jorge!

7. Friday had two bad calls at home. First, Mauer literally pushed Guillen across home plate with his glove (and the baseball inside it), but Guillen was called safe. Then San Diego got a break when they tied the game in the 9th when Kyle Blanks slid into the glove of catcher Ryan Schneider in front of home plate but was called safe. (Of course, both clips were neutered by MLB and slow motion replays of the close calls were not shown.)
Purists still claim that instant replays of plays at home should not happen. Lord knows we wouldn't want the right call to occur.

8. David Ortiz may or may not have taken steroids accidentally when he was taking legal supplements back in 2003. Apparently back in the day you just swallowed any pill that was given to you.
It's also nice to see the players union step in and defend its players while poking holes into "the list". Of course that only happened after the precious Big Poppi got outed.

9. Ozzie Guillen continued his bid for "Manager Most Likely To Shiv A Player" by stating that he wants his pitchers to hit...everybody?

10. Josh Hamilton fell off the wagon. I probably shouldn't joke about that.

11. On Friday the Twins traded for Cleveland pitcher Carl Pavano, which is the equivalent of a villain throwing his gun at Superman after all the bullets bounced harmlessly off his chest.
That being said, on Saturday Carl Pavano proved to be the Twins' best pitcher. Which is like me saying I'm the tallest person in Munchkinland...which I AM, thank you very much.

One Sentence Reviews

I think I'm overdue for another rousing round of One Sentence Reviews. But first, since I'm finally taking the poll down, for posterity's sake I will say that the final vote regarding what caused the dent in the airplane's nose was this:

Superman, you can be a mean drunk.

Let's do some reviews.

God of War 2 (Playstation 2 Video Game): Meet a legendary Greek hero, kill a legendary Greek hero...what could be better?



His Dark Materials (Fantasy Series by Phillip Pullman): I loved the first book, liked the second one, and struggled through the third.



Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008 Movie): Really, for the name being what it was, Guantanamo Bay had little to do with this but if you loved the first movie you'll like this one.





Into the Wild (2007 Movie): The sense of tragic inevitability makes for an interesting viewing experience.





The Watchmen (DC "Graphic Novel"): Wholly dark and depressing but overall a good comic made even better when I realized it was written in 1986.




Babylon A.D. (2008 Movie): I thought it had a chance to be a cool futuristic action movie but when a director pans his own movie I'm suddenly not instilled with confidence.




Disaster Movie (2008 Movie): I have not seen this movie yet but I can guarantee you this is one of the most unoriginal, painfully unfunny pieces of trash this year.




Summer Olympics (2008): Just when I thought there was nothing lamer than the Olympics the NFL preseason comes along.

Airplane Gets a Nose Job

Alright, so apparently this airplane landed at an airport with a dented done. The thing is, nobody claims to know what caused the dent. And this is no minor dent, either, it's a dent that...well...looks a little something like this:

Full Story: http://www.startribune.com/business/24091894.html

Hmmm...that's an awfully large dent for nobody to know what happened. But the FCC claims that it's a mystery.

So, what really happen to this airplane? What could have caused such a large dent in the nose? Nobody knows, but I have a few ideas:

1. A meteorite
2. A giant flying ostrich wearing an oxygen mask
3. A freak rip in the space-time continuum
4. A huge release of electro-magnetism originating from a mysterious, moving island's 'hatch'
5. Superman was flying while intoxicated...again...and wasn't watching where he was going
6. The Klingons just declared war on the human race
7. The pilots accidentally hit God's mailbox and won't admit it
8. Upon finding out the in-flight movie was "The Love Guru" the airplane nobly attempted to sacrifice itself for the good of all the passengers

All of those possibilities are plausible, but what's the truth? Who knows? But you can all vote on which one you think it is on your left. You can also vote 'Something Else' if you'd like and leave a comment on what else you think this could be.

Whatever it is, I'm sure we can all agree that a giant government conspiracy is somehow involved.