tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post1110406939572430499..comments2024-03-28T10:18:00.370-05:00Comments on Gentlemen of Leisure: Five Things I Hate About "The Phantom Menace" (That Don't Include Jar Jar Binks)Austin Gortonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-65431006778333490742011-09-17T17:31:00.457-05:002011-09-17T17:31:00.457-05:00Dr. Bitz: I wonder if the story still makes sense?...<br>Dr. Bitz: <i>I wonder if the story still makes sense?</i><br /><br />... What do you mean "still"?<br /><br />For the five things I hate about <i>The Phantom Menace</i>, you just basically subtract a few minutes' worth — if that — of rad lightsaber battle and the initial coolness factor of Darth Maul (great look, great moves), divide the remaining running time into five equal segments, and <i>voilà</i>. If you wanted to group them by theme, I suppose that [1] Jar-Jar, [2] Anakin, [3] the midichlorians concept, [4] the bitter disappointment of the leaden dialogue in general (with Sam Jackson's Mace Windu at the Jedi council in particular), and [5] everything else would be the way to do it. There's no point in splitting hairs, though, unless it's Obi-Wan's ridiculous little braid.<br /><br>Blamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07342343767763035991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-39733228988319994432011-08-17T14:59:20.502-05:002011-08-17T14:59:20.502-05:00@Anonymous: i hope you people know that there are ...@Anonymous: <i>i hope you people know that there are 10 year olds who watch star wars too. Along with the fact that portman was a teen at the time, if they acually put nudity in the film, not only would kids be upset that its PG 18 or R, kids who managed to see it would be scarred for life</i><br /><br />At the risk of speaking for Dr. Bitz and Opalnan, I can say that most of our clamoring for naked Natalie Portman is born of jest and tongue-in-cheek-ed-ness. We're all well aware that no <i>Star Wars</i> movie could actually feature nudity.Austin Gortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-8595103394594834432011-08-07T10:31:08.265-05:002011-08-07T10:31:08.265-05:00i hope you people know that there are 10 year olds...i hope you people know that there are 10 year olds who watch star wars too. Along with the fact that portman was a teen at the time, if they acually put nudity in the film, not only would kids be upset that its PG 18 or R, kids who managed to see it would be scarred for life. George lucas is smarter than that so he wouldn't think about it (unless he was thinking of doing a porn remake)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-553902582321736022011-04-29T04:05:38.888-05:002011-04-29T04:05:38.888-05:00Wished I'd stumbled on this post earlier, but ...Wished I'd stumbled on this post earlier, but agree with you totally. Would love if you could visit my own post and comment here on how I would fix the prequels: http://fanfix.wordpress.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-4386038248769642362010-03-16T11:04:44.702-05:002010-03-16T11:04:44.702-05:00I think, that you are not right. I am assured.I think, that you are not right. I am assured.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-62787408689331406742009-05-27T09:33:14.961-05:002009-05-27T09:33:14.961-05:00But those are Naboo years...which is like 22 in Ea...But those are Naboo years...which is like 22 in Earth years.<br /><br />And to be fair, she was 18 when the movie came out...although, that may make her 17 when the movie was actually filmed...which would be dicey. However, Hollywood actresses always shave 3 years off their age, of course, Natalie may have been too young to do that yet.<br /><br />My point is, Natalie Portman was approximately the same age I was when the movie came out thus it wasn't weird that I'd prefer to see her naked. But perhaps we should play it safe. The nudity should wait until Attack of the Clones...Natalie Portman clones!Dr. Bitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13568570859981368717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-39861865991142331092009-05-26T20:10:15.420-05:002009-05-26T20:10:15.420-05:00Natalie, naked...she's 14 in the first movie. I f...Natalie, naked...she's 14 in the first movie. I forgot about your love of young girls...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-65545520893647077592009-05-26T10:41:04.181-05:002009-05-26T10:41:04.181-05:00It doesn't remove him completely I don't think. It...It doesn't remove him completely I don't think. It just takes out his little slapstick moments for the most part. And if you think about it most of those could be removed without it making the movie look like it was missing anything. I mean does it really need Jar Jar getting farted on by some pack animal at the pod race? Or him stepping in the crap in Mos Espa? Don't get me wrong it wouldn't turn it into the best movie in the series but it would be a little improvement.Phantomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551460006238624083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-12820065825214090772009-05-26T09:02:41.200-05:002009-05-26T09:02:41.200-05:00I have seen that "anti Jar Jar" edit for sale at c...I have seen that "anti Jar Jar" edit for sale at conventions before, being sold by those dealers that specialize in bootleg DVDs and whatnot. <br /><br />Though I have no idea how it plays as a coherent movie. My guess is it doesn't, the creators' argument being that a choppy, nonsensical movie is better than one with any Jar Jar in it at all. Which isn't quite true.Austin Gortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-16009332785936853962009-05-26T07:40:03.576-05:002009-05-26T07:40:03.576-05:00Not sure about the pod racing, but you could splic...Not sure about the pod racing, but you could splice in scenes from that movie where Natalie Portman played a stripper to take care of the naked Natalie Portman stuff. You could even break into the studio and get the stuff where she is totally naked that they left out at the last minute.Phantomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551460006238624083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-10408735807127500112009-05-25T12:44:19.064-05:002009-05-25T12:44:19.064-05:00Sounds interesting, I wonder if the story still ma...Sounds interesting, I wonder if the story still makes sense?<br /><br />Although, I'm sure there's still pod racing....and no naked Natalie Portman.Dr. Bitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13568570859981368717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-40228326984935358182009-05-24T01:26:44.098-05:002009-05-24T01:26:44.098-05:00Have you guys ever heard of or seen the so called ...Have you guys ever heard of or seen the so called "Phantom Edit" of episode I? Somebody apparently went through and recut the movie removing all of Jar Jar's stupid moments, Anakin's stupid moments and a few other details. It was supposed to have been a pretty big improvement over the version we all know and love (?). Never seen it myself but would love to get my hands on a copy to see how it is.Phantomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05551460006238624083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7266470995513648978.post-34424648242739097782009-05-22T15:18:43.201-05:002009-05-22T15:18:43.201-05:00Good points all around. It's really sad how much t...Good points all around. It's really sad how much the movie would be improved if Anakin was just like four years older. <br /><br />Making him, say 14 (an age at which he can still be innocent and miss his mom when he leaves her), makes the whole Padme/Anakin "romance" less creepy, and they could have upped Padme's age a bit too so the whole "14 year old Queen" thing wouldn't be as odd. <br /><br />If he's 14, then he could be a real pilot when Obi-Wan meets him, and not a souped up Nascar driver. <br /><br />That way, when they get to Naboo, he can willing choose to get involved in the space battle because he's a good pilot, and he can actually take out the control ship, on purpose, because he's a good pilot. Not just because he's a good pilot (for a kid) with a lot of luck. <br /><br />That right there cuts out half of the "win by buffoonery" from the final battle. <br /><br />But Darth Maul'll still die like a chump.Austin Gortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281239771248780430noreply@blogger.com