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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

MLB Headlines Week 3

Alright, it's once again time for our MLB Headlines contest for Week 3. This happens to be a bit belated for reasons I'll get into later.

This week boots~ and I tied again. This time, 4 to 4. I didn't think that many people read this blog! Me thinks some people are voting more than once. But who knows?
As always, in case of a tie, I'm declared the winner. Undefeated baby!

At the end of this post is my Sunday Fantasy Baseball Log. Not as entertaining as it could have been considering I avoided my Sunday collapse and actually won the week. Prognosis on this week is negative.

www.mlb.com Headline of the Week:
Hall of a win for Brew Crew

Yes...Bill Hall is an outfielder for the Brewers...and had a good game.

Here's our headlines:

Dr. Bitz:
April 20th, 2008 – Yankees 7 Orioles 1
Baltimore shops in the 'Pettite' section for skirts because they hit like sissies

April 20th, 2008 - Brewers 3 Reds 4
Gone is the game once Gagne's in the game

April 20th, 2008 - Indians 1 Twins 2
Cleveland has reason to mourn. "No!" They scream as Justin hits the game winning single

Teebore:
April 20th, 2008 - Tigers 3 Blue Jays 5
Tough times for Tigers topped by Thomas-less Toronto

April 20th, 2008 - Brewers 3 Reds 4
Gagne gags as Reds down Brew-crew

April 19th, 2008 - Indians 0 Twins 3
Blackburned! Behind sterling starting pitching, Twins trounce Tribe

boots~:
April 19th. 2008 - Giants 3 St. Louis 0
Pujols...hehehehe...POOH HOLES!

April 20th. 2008 - Giants 8 St. Louis 2
Sanchez...dirty...pffffft...DIRTY SANCHEZ!!

April 20th, 2008 - Indians 1 Minnesota 2
Sizemore wants more size...in his PENIS!!!

One of the Gentlemen decided to be leisurely all weekend and not submit headlines. I won't name any names, but he's kicking my ass this week in Fantasy Baseball. That's why this post was late, I was waiting for his headlines. I ended up being his de facto headline writer.

Vote on the poll to you left.

Now onto my Sunday Fantasy Baseball Log. I know you're excited!

---------------------------------------------------------------

11:40 AM - Alright. My team is tied with my opponent 5 categories to 5. This despite the fact that my opponent has not taken Alfonso Soriano out of his lineup even though he's on the DL. Couple that with the fact that Manny Ramirez is not in his lineup for some inexplicable reason and I'm lucky to be even 5-5. Every day this week I've been grateful that he hasn't put Manny in his lineup.
Yesterday my team did about as expected. 2 runs and .200 batting average. That's about it. No home runs, RBIs, or stolen bases. My pitching staff picked it up though with a win and two saves.
Here's the stats going into Sunday:
R HR RBI SB AVG W SV K ERA WHIP
Me: 30 7 20 1 .290 4 4 33 4.50 1.63
Him: 32 4 21 3 .331 2 2 18 5.58 1.62


I should win Home Runs (HR), Wins (W), Saves (SV), and Strikeouts (K). He probably has average. The rest are up for grabs.
Let's see what happens.

12:00 PM - I noticed Gary Sheffield was not playing today. So I put in Hunter Pence in his stead. Also, no 'Fragile' Joe Mauer today. (Shocker.) But I have no catcher to replace him. My opponent's team is obviously without Soriano, but he also doesn't have Posada, Pedrioia, or Frank(enstein) Thomas either. So I'm going to have a lot more batters than him playing today. Let's see how that shakes out.

12:18 PM - Ankiel is out so I threw in San Francisco rookie phenom Bowker instead. We'll see how that plays out. But, overall, I have all batting positions filled accept catcher, which is acceptable for a Sunday.

12:41 PM - Got out of the shower and Brandon Phillips is 0 for 1. No surprise there. Rafael Furcal stole a base for my opponent pretty much sealing that category for him. Again, no surprise. But at least A-Rod is coming up to bat soon with presumably a man on base. Time for a big home run.

12:46 PM - Stupid *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted**expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted*, *expletive deleted* A-Rod striking out swinging. I gotta go get lunch.

1:33 PM - Got back from picking up lunch and noticed I'm up 6-3 now thanks to a run and an RBI by A-Rod. He's a beautiful, beautiful man.

1:51 PM - Hey, Andy Pettite's pitching a perfect game through 5 and 1/3 innings. But I probably just jinxed it.

1:53 PM - Single to third. I jinxed it.

1:54 PM - Hafner strikes out swinging. You know, all I've heard about is how Travis Hafner eats the Twins alive. So far, in these three games, he missed one game and hasn't had a hit in the next two as of this time. Twins Orginization, I expect a thank you letter in the mail.

2:01 PM - Huge 2 run home run from rookie phenom John Bowker. Thank God Ankiel wasn't playing today. I'm up 7-3!!! Ain't no stoppin' me now!

2:07 PM - Rodriguez grounded into fielder's choice, Abreu out at second. Ensberg ran for Rodriguez. It's a 2-0 game. I don't like the sound of that. Sound's like A-Rod injured himself beating out the throw to first...

2:37 PM - Miguel 'Spicy' Tejadas scored a run on a mild pitch. *rimshot*

2:39 PM - Game Note: NEW YORK THIRD BASEMAN ALEX RODRIGUEZ LEFT THE GAME IN THE TOP OF THE SIXTH DUE TO AN APPARENT HAMSTRING INJURY. *sigh* It starts...

2:54 PM - While watching the Twins on TV I thought of a stellar drinking game. Take a drink any time one of the announcers says that a Twins Player 'Just missed their pitch'. If you want to ramp things up, also take a drink if a Twin makes an out but they 'hit the ball right on the button' or the announcers say something to the effect of 'The Twins have been hitting the ball hard but have nothing to show for it!'

3:53 PM - Sherrill just gave up 2 runs to the Yankees. Yes, it's a shocker, a closer comes into a non-save situation and sucks. This may be a blessing in disguise, though, because it takes the Yankees out of a save situation and my opponent has Rivera. So that's good...provided Sherrill's sucktitude doesn't cost me a pitching category.

6:00 PM - OK, the dust has settled on the day games and it looks like, barring any unfathomable shenanigans from relief pitcher Brad Lidge tonight, I'm going to win 7-2. Have I mentioned how glad I am he didn't have Manny Ramirez in his lineup? Let's just say I would've lost at least 2 more categories.

11:02 PM - No Shennanigans. I win 7-2. I should do this log more often. I actual win for a change! Although I bet Teebore is pretty pissed right now. (He wasn't my opponent, but he tied 5-5)

Final Score:
R HR RBI SB AVG W SV K ERA WHIP
Me: 35 8 25 1 .286 5 4 40 4.37 1.56
Him: 35 4 22 5 .322 3 3 24 5.00 1.67


12:30 AM - Checking e-mail and amongst Teebore's MLB Headlines was this:
Cosmic Graffiti 5, Emotionally Involved w/Wooden Objects 5:
Chase (I'm not even a damned power hitter) Utley hits two *expletive deleted*ing home runs in the last game of the week to give boots~ the category over Teebore, thus tying the overall score.

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