Three guys talking about comic books, sports, movies, TV shows and the numerous other pastimes that make us Gentlemen of Leisure.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Bitz'N'Pieces

Since Teebore has been...*ahem*...monopolizing ye ole blog, this post is a little late...and consists of just some odds and ends brewing up in me ole noggin'.

Vikings Sunk: Well, it's looking like the inevitable collapse has started. I knew I was doomed when I picked Miami to beat the spread and they failed to do so by one. You see, I was tempted to pick Washington instead. But by not picking Washington I put the double whammy on myself. The Vikings don't win and my decision to not pick Washington haunt me. The Vikes can still make the playoffs if they win next week and Washington loses. Dr. Bitz's prediction? Both Washington AND Vikings lose. Vikings miss out on the playoffs...again.

Silva Lining: Well the Seattle Mariners signed former Twins pitcher Carlos Silva to a 4 year $44 million contract. Apparently, performance and stats are not taken into consideration when Seattle makes contract offers. This also keeps the Seattle Mariners' trend of signing overweight, Hispanic Twins pitching castoffs alive. Dennys Reyes, you're officially on notice!

Santana Sweepstakes: The Twins still have yet to trade the best pitcher in baseball. I have a lot of venom stored up waiting to be spewed once this trade goes down. Let's just say I see a rant in the future regarding the Twins being cheap and me wondering if I should take the Twins seriously since they don't take winning seriously.

Christmas Songs: Well, instead of two front teeth, all I want for Christmas is a Twins contract for Johan Santana. OK, that was a terrible segue and is, in fact, false, but nobody asked you anyway. I'm sure you're all dying to know what my favorite non-traditional Christmas songs are. I made a list and looked like this:

That Wham Song
The Chipmunks Song
That Paul McCartney/Wings song
Happy Xmas by John Lennon
Snoopy's Christmas

Seeing as how a list like that will ensure that I'm never voted president...of anything, I've decided to do just a list of my top 5 Christmas Songs:

The Christmas Song by Bing Crosby
Happy Xmas by John Lennon
Little Drummer Boy
O' Holy Night
Snoopy's Christmas by The Royal Guardsmen

That looks better...but I'm still not getting elected president.
Also, my top (or bottom depending on how you look at it) 5 worst Christmas songs:

That stupid Frank Sinatra/Cyndi Lauper duet of Santa Claus is Comin' to Town
That dumb Hippopotamus Song
That stupid Rod Stewart/Dolly Parton Baby, It's Cold Outside Duet
Two Step Round the Christmas Tree
Christmas Shoes (Naturally)

If you like any of those songs then you need to take a good, long, hard look at yourself in the mirror.

I'm sure there are some songs I'm missing, but I can't think of more right now. But if you want to make the Christmas Shoes song better, just imagine the shoes the kid is buying are some gaudy, bedazzled green elf shoes that only a kid would think were beautiful. Maybe they even have red bulbs that blink on ends of the toes!!!

Happy Holidays: Well, to all 3 people who read this blog, I wish you happiness in whatever you celebrate (if anything) this time of year. I believe the preferred saying is "Happy Holidays." (If you hate baby Jesus.)
Anyway, I hope you all hear plenty of scary ghosts stories, I trust the traffic will remain terrific, and I wish you all a great holiday season.

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