Alright, I had a different post all planned out but something happened that...uh...really ground my gears. Last week I received an e-mail from Major League Baseball about this Steal a Base, Steal a Taco promotion. What it said was that if somebody steals a base in the World Series then Taco Bell will give out a free taco to everybody.
Now, Taco Bell is heartless, multinational corporation who is probably about as evil as McDonald's. Yet I somehow find myself going there. It's probably because they have some tasty vegetarian options for me and I can only handle so much Chipotle before my stomach explodes. Now, a taco isn't to my liking but it is to Mrs. Dr. Bitz's. So I decided to investigate this promotion.
My interpretation of the promotion was that if a base was stolen in any of the World Series games then the following day I could get a free taco. After looking more closely at the rules I learned that it's only after the first World Series game that a base is stolen in that you get a free taco, not ANY World Series game a base is stolen in. So maybe I was being greedy. I could handle one free taco during the Series.
Then I noticed that it wasn't the next day, it was the Tuesday after the game that the stolen base occurred in that you could get a free taco. OK, that seemed a bit silly, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right? I suppose it's fair of Taco Bell to try and drum up business on an off night. Besides, Mrs. Dr. Bitz, Teebore, and I generally play poker with some of our friends on Tuesday nights. Some sort of dinner is usually in order. So I figured we could go to Taco Bell and get some free tacos before hand.
So, I was watching the World Series tonight rooting against Boston. On a side note, aren't we all sick of Boston? I mean, I don't want sound like a communist or anything, but share the wealth, will ya? You're being wicked greedy.
Anyway, I was watching the series and Jacoby "Get a Real First Name" Ellsbury steals a base. So I'm like, next Tuesday Teebore and the Mrs. are getting some tacos. Then they flash the promotion on the screen. It says that Jacoby "My Parents Were Drunk and Accidentally Added a Y to My First Name" Ellsbury just won America a Taco. You can stop by any participating Taco Bell from 2PM to 5PM to get a free taco.
WHO THE HELL GETS TACO BELL OR ANY FAST FOOD FROM 2PM TO 5PM!?!?!?! I mean, I can imagine going to Taco Bell from 11:30AM all the way to 2PM. I can imagine eating Taco Bell from 5PM to 9PM. But only psychos, pedophiles, and Teebore eat meals between 2PM and 5PM. This an obvious ploy to not only drum up business on an off night, but on off hours. And at this point, with all these stupid rules and stipulations to this promotion, what's the point? Just don't even have this lame contest to begin with if 90% of the population won't\can't even take advantage of it.
But I suppose Taco Bell got what they wanted. They got there name out there. I mean I just mentioned the place dozens of times in this one post for the tens of...well...ten people who read this blog. So there's some free advertising right there. So I guess they win.
I could vow never to eat at their restaurant again, but I think we all know that I have neither the drive, nor the follow through, nor the lack of laziness to actually go through with it. Instead I'll simply shake my fist and say, "Curse you Taco Bell!!!!"